DEATH IN BALICASAG

THE BOSS: "Matagal pa flight natin. Tara munang mag-island hopping." 

[So we went. I can't exactly remember what I was telling The Boss during our boat ride. We did see some dolphins after Brod Moi snapped the photo below.]

THE BOSS: "Dito na lang muna tayo tumambay."

THE ADMINISTRATOR: "Nakahanap ng kakainan 'yung mga kasama ko sa bangka. Umiinom na din yata kasama 'yung bangkero namin."

THE SECRETARY: "Nagpunta sa parola at simbahan 'yung nasa isa pang bangka."

[I can't remember our succeeding conversation after that brief exchange as Brod Moi aimed his tablet at us. But I'm sure it's mostly about nonsense to while the time. That's when our boatman's son came.]

OUR BOATMAN'S SON: "Boss, puede ko bang ihatid ang ilang pasahero pabalik sa Panglao? Wala po silang masakyan e."

US: "Sige, basta bumalik ka agad bago mananghali." 

OUR BOATMAN'S SON: "Okey boss. Salamat po."

[The photo below shows our boatman's son with our boat moments after we disembarked and before he asked permission to bring some passengers to Panglao.]

THE BOSS, on seeing a lightly built young man in Coast Guard uniform: "Coast Guard ka pala. Mukha ka pa kasing bagets na teenager."

COAST GUARD: [Smiles and continued conversing in Bisaya with a local lady.]

THE BOSS, on seeing our boatman's son rushing to the shore: "O, kabilis mo naman?"

OUR BOATMAN'S SON: [Acknowledged us with a nod but continued running to somewhere.]

THE BOSS, after some time: "Tara na, andiyan na ang bangkero. Asan ba idinaong 'yung bangka natin?"

LOCAL LADY: "Naku sir, lumubog po 'yung bangka ninyo kanina. Ayun po o! Kasalukuyang hinihila para madala dito."

[We called the hotel who told us another boat is on the way to take us back. And as I watched the locals try to to salvage our sunken boat, the reports came. Brod Moi snapped another photo.]

"Overloaded 'yung bangka!"

[There were no life vests as these were unloaded when the passengers boarded the boat.]

"Hindi dapat kumuha ng pasahero 'yun maliban sa mga dinala niya dito."

[Apparently, our our boatman's son took the passengers to earn extra money and without informing his father.]

"Dalawa ang kumpirmadong nalunod."

[The passengers were mostly itinerant vendors who came to the island to sell their wares during yesterday's fiesta celebration.]

"Ngayon lang nangyari ang ganito. Malilintikan kami lahat nito."

ALONA ALEGRE, FATHER PIO, AND THE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE

The Beach

The story was that Alona Alegre ran nude along an unknown beach in Bohol while shooting a scene with FPJ  for the 1973 film "Esteban".

She told a friend about the beach who told her German husband who came and built a resort or something and named the beach after the actress.

Today, almost every resort lined along or near that beach in Panglao Island has "Alona" attached to their names.

The Saint

Baclayon's church is of course reputed to be the second oldest in the Philippines after San Agustin's in Intramuros, tracing its Catholic history back in 1595 when it was established as a Jesuit mission.

Being such and of the belief that the structure has not been significantly altered since it was rebuilt in 1724, I thought the church should make it at least to the NCCA National Heritage Site list.

But it was not so perhaps it could make it into one of those pilgrimage sites because of a Father Pio image allegedly etched in one of the buttresses that was accidentally spotted by an unidentified tourist who was then reviewing the photos he/she took of the church.

I have my doubts though because honestly, the image looked more like Karl Marx.

The Bridge

Yes, it's that stupid bridge to nowhere that some inane asshole/s thought of.

If completed, the bridge would have required the demolition of the 400-years old Church of San Pedro in Loboc which is the second oldest church in Bohol after Baclayon's.

The church was erected in 1638 on the ruins of an earlier burned down structure.

It survived the ravages of time and the harshness of the land but almost succumbed to the folly of humans who thought of building a bridge to justify the church's destruction so they can help themselves to unproven tales of buried treasure within.

Today, the church stays as a monument to our colonial history and legacy.

The bridge stays too, uncompleted, a symbol of the people's triumph against madness, perhaps a painful but necessary reminder of the way we still are, a concrete manifestation of absurd thinking that a gallant but pitiful attempt to transform it into a hanging garden of sort miserably failed to disguise.

The In-Betweens  

We were a group in a tour so I have to bear with the usual tourist traps, the tarsiers, and Chocolate Hills.

I was the only churchophile so I have to do with drive-by shootings of the churches in Batuan, Bilar, and Albuquerque.

The Loboc River cruise was welcome and the late lunch that came with it appetizing.

I was not able visit the must-shoot colonial churches in Anda, Balilihan, Calape, Candijay, Corella, Cortes, Dimiao, Duero, Garcia Hernandez, Guimdulman, Inabanga, Jagna, Jetafe, Lila, Loay, Loon, Maribojoc, Tagbilaran, Talibon, Tubigon, and Valencia but I was happy enough to get myself second and third helpings of Loboc's version of the canton. 

UNTANGLING BOHOL

Bohol after 10 years is more complicated than the distant memory of a topless Caucausian tourist flirting with the fine white sands of Alona Beach, her feet teasing the small clear brine, her glossy tanned skin in heavy intercourse with the early morning sunbeams. 

But I might have been expected because tucked in an array of seafood buffet is a soggy and oily version of the bihon guisado which only a pansit fanatic like me can appreciate.

We came to Bohol to work so right after lunch, Mayor Boyito convened a plenary of his department heads and gave them stern marching orders for the next three years of his last term in office. I was there to present what I thought the Mayor wanted done and possible ways of doing that.

That night, we settled in a beachfront bar with buckets of beer and enjoyed the music of a band of a gyrating female Black Jack, her chubby counter alto, and their Ref Valera guitarist. I thought the fire dancer is trying too hard and wished he should just stick to the classic routine of drinking gas and blowing fire.

Bohol don't happen often and I was determined to go beyond the tarsiers and chocolate hills this time. So early the next morning, I rented a motorbike for P600 and with Brod Moi driving, we headed for the old church that a blog informed exists in Panglao. And there it was, 19th century and its importance as a cultural property etched in the old gray stones, the nearby ruins of an earlier church a testament to the fires that destroyed many other colonial churches. But as usual, I forgot to do an advance research and would only learn later that the old municipio, the school, the archway, and the church in the camposanto are also worth shooting too.

But that's going fast forward. 

After Panglao, we next headed 12 kilometers to Dauis that I first heard from those MDG articles of Social Watch Philippines and which I first thought is in mainland Bohol. I had a feeling it has an old church too and it does: 19th century, a declared catholic shrine, and designated national cultural treasure. The convent too has earned a plaque from the National Historical Institute. But the morning mass was still in motion and we have to get back to Alona Kew before 8 am. That means the church's fabled freshwater well in the altar area will have to wait for another trip. 

But not after another 10 years I hope.

Bohol definitely needs a lot more untangling.          

SIKA, ANYA NGAY TI BIRNAS MO?

Idi bumarito ak ket napanaganan ak nga Ampalayo gapu ta kasla la kanu isu iti panagay-ayam ko ti basketball.

Haan nga nagbayag ket siyak metten ni Super Lolo ta haan kanu nga agkakatunos dagidiyay kawes ko nga segundo mano.

Kar-ruba mi ni Lakay Amplaying (wen may wayp is awey, aym playing!).

Uliteg ko da Lakay Prasko ken Tangad, kapitan ti baryo mi ni Lakay Puyot, nagserbi nga mayor ni Apo Herodes, kabasat daydi Nanang ko ni Uncle Dugal. 

Tallo-nga-Domingo daydi diyos ti alwad na nga Amang Lakay.

Idiyay CLSU, kanayon nga isuot ni Bagis Daniel diyay t-shirt na nga American Tiki-Tiki isu nga napanaganan nga Tiki-Tiki.

Ni Lala Mantelibano ti object of affection ni Bagis Lala idi madama ti mental torture na; kayo met ti inarem ni Bagis Kayo.

Mandiyak ammo nu apay napanaganan ni Bagis Pandag nga kasta.

Ngem Ni Bagis Rambo ket nabirnasan ta dakkel ngamin ti pannakabagbagi na.

Sika ngay, anya met ti istorya ti birnas mo?

MAKAULAW TI ANGOT TI AMMONIA

ITI NAPALABAS...

Nailungunen idi inyawid da diyay Diyos ti alwad na nga Manong Junie.

Binagsol kanu dagiti nakaapa da nga fraternity idiyay Manila.

Naibales da met laeng isuna kadaydiyay aldaw nga pan-nakapatay na.

Agkaabay da pay idiyay morgue piman.

Mayat sa ti sumrek ti fraternity ti kunak idi.

Exciting...

SEPTEMBER 1989

Dakami 'tay inawagan da nga Ammonia Batch.

Adu ngamin iti naulaw idi final initiation mi diyay Kampo Kuatro. Siyak sa laeng ti haan nga nag-collapse.

In-nem kami nga neophyte: ni Cabanaysdey nga nadamag ko nga pimmusayen, ni KBL nga gapu ta kil-lo ti tam-mudo na ket binirnasan da nga kasta, ni Bagis Joey, ni Bagis Freddie, siyak, kenni Sis Marlyn nga pinaynalan da uray nu haan met nga agbasbasa.

Kastoy ti sequence mi: agkakanabsiit nga sippapo ti rupa [blessing], nagado nga paddle, belting [tal-lo nga basnot ti sinturon iti bukbukot mi kada miyembro], mental torture [pinagsalasala ken pinag-iin-nungo da kami, pinakan dakami pay ti sili!], atay kunkuna da nga istasyon [sag-gaysa nga minuto nga bugbog kada dua nga miyembro], ken Indian Run [madi kami unay makatarayen a ta limteg met dagiti lupluppo men isu nga intaya mi lattan dagiti agtut-tutot nga bukot mi nga binasnutan da iti sangsanga ti bay-yabas].

Ayna Apo, ket pinuuran da pay ti urmot mi! 

Kasla kami la nagsida iti sanga-gabsuon nga birabid ti rikna mi idi malpas.

Pinaangutan da kami iti ammonia ngem kim-maru met ti ulaw mi ta kaang-angot na met tay nabangles nga isbo!

Makadumingo kami nga haan nga makatugaw.

Ayna ti rigat na mi nga tumak-ki ken agtugawen aya!

Umay dakami met pinasyar dagiti sister nga adda balon da nga nakabote a napudot nga danum nga isu't impalpadaligdig da kadagitay limteg nga laslasag mi.

Inlutlutuwan ken inlablabaan da kami pay piman.

Mapalabas ti makadumingo ket acceptance min.

Pinalikawkawan mi nga nakaparintumeng diyay puon ti narra nga kimkimpetan mi iti kasta la unay idi rugyan da nga ramisen dagiti lumlumteg pay apo nga bakrang mi!

Kasta ti pakasarsaritaan iti nakuna nga Ammonia Batch.

Makaulaw nga pudno!