WHY ANDY WARHOL CANCELLED MORATO

He was almost 800 Meters away to Thomas Morato Avenue, 1.1 kilometers to be exact via Eugenio Lopez Drive, when he turned back as the sound waves from the Alcanar explosion that preceded the La Rambla and Cambrils attacks finally reached Metro Manila after 4 years, 7 months and 25 days. 

And indeed, Tuesday's pork barbecue and Wednesday's kinilaw na tuna were written in The Andy Warhol Diaries but it was only after the shooting incident at the The Factory that it got published by the Interview Magazine along with the breaking news about commuters stranded in the Five Star and Baliwag bus terminals.  

Andy Warhol has been planning his Morato itinerary for 6 years, 5 months and 25 days since the November 13 Attack on Paris during a football match at the Stade de France with Roxanne and Phoenix who told him to duck and "Don't Breathe" as Norman Nordstrom tried to fend off the human bombs and assassins at the Bataclan Theater.   

On April 20, radioactive sarin-coated winds from Fukushima and Tokyo along with debris from Flight KAL 858 reached EDSA through the ripples of Bandah Aceh's tsunami in One Day That Changed Asia prompting Andy Warhol to divert to Maligaya from Morato where he was honored with a Saturday night special of kinilaw na bangus that rightful complemented the nilagang mani from Bakal 2.  

Such is the Anatomy of a Scandal with the MMDA, LTRFB and PBOAP blaming each other, so confusing that Sophie Whitehouse and Kate Woodcroft lodged an appeal to the Crown Court to make the Phantom Biker cancel HOPP INN Morato and choose pink, power up on pansit kanin, buy free range chicken, go kill time in the bike trails and break his Sunday liquor fast with leftover pork adobo and itlog na maalat.    

THE TRAGEDY OF RICHARD JEWELL

His name is Richard Jewell, an enthusiastic craftsman with a fondness for sorting chaos that was perhaps resented by a Miss Kathy Scruggs of Talavera which might have also eclipsed the amateur machinations of a certain Mr. Tom Shaw from Cabanatuan, shallow motives that the Young Wallander of Malmo deemed to be incredulous grounds in having the hero of Atlanta fried.

That was low enough to take the flavor out of Maundy Thursday's deep fried biya, kalderetang bibe and sinampalukang manok; and to castrate any eroticism between Viscount Anthony Bridgerton and Miss Kate Sharma although The Principles of Pleasure suggests that perhaps, the MILF of Bakal 2 do use toys in addressing her orgasm gap and those who are spectatoring her ample breasts.

On The Day of the Lord, Fr. Menendez exorcised Racquel Montoya from the possession of Alastor during the Feast of the Paschal Lamb where kinilaw na tanigue and fried Spam slices from Fig Tuesday and the ginataang tahong of Spy Wednesday were offered to those of the Order of Rose Croix, including the Erremantari who caught The Blacksmith and the Devil binge watching Netflix on Good Friday before an unexpected invitation to a chewy pork barbecue, half cooked inihaw na hito and a semblance of balbacua on Black Saturday.

The Phantom Biker though was Old Enough to appreciate that Semana Santa is best spent in the trails of Nueva Ecija rather than the empty streets and closed eating places of Kapitolyo, Cubao, Morato, Binondo and SIDCOR Sunday Market... 

MONDAY THE 13th (Morato II, Greenhills, Binondo II)

On Monday the 13th, Imam Ali was born after the Virgin of Fatima appeared in a centered hexagram of a Bar Mitzvah where John Wilson's prime evolved from a sieved lucky Fabonacci number of the 4th power to celebrate the Mistahs  with 13 pieces of inihaw na tilapia from Pantok, 13 slices of Spam from Purok Tres, 13 stories of NS-4 and 13 servings of warik-warik on both ends of the Munoz-Lupao Road.   

On Friday the 8th, the 3 am Baliwag Bus trip to Morato fetched the Phantom Biker in Bakal 2 for a rendezvous with with Det. Harry Ambrose in what was formerly known as the Taggo Bar and Cafe to plot the recovery of Cora Tannetti's memory and Julian's liberation from a hooded ghost who hides in a pot of sizzling cheesy sisig that smelled like the usual arroz caldo and elevated tokwa't  baboy from the kitchen of Club Filipino in Greenhills, Dorchester and Keller.

Saturday morning found them in search of Hanover Island in Escolta and were rewarded with a brunch of Yang Chow fried rice, lumpia shanghai and King Dao spare ribs from the Toho Panciteria Antigua where Jamie Burns was pushed to the edge by the guilty conscience of Percy Muldoon after smuggling to Bakal 2 a kilo of asado, three rolls of kikiam and 5 pieces of fried siopao that was almost intercepted by the Tailor of Cabanatuan who announced that a dinner of sinuglaw, cajun seafood, steamed tahong and smoked liempo has been prepared in the rooftop by dear friends from the past.    

But the eyes of The Sinner was on the MILF of Bakal 2 who demonstrated how she would do a possible doggie, perhaps someday in Ortigas, Cubao or Morato, as the rice fields across the bike trails changed colors...  

BREAKFAST IN MORATO (Sta. Cruz II)

With Omar Navarro (AKA as Ah-ta the renegade cop)incarcerrated in Ozark for abetting Hana in the murder of Sue, Big Alice parted with the Snowpiercer to reach the Horn of Africa where the New Eden's micro-climate Light the Night for Thursday's unexpected lunch of litsong manok, rellenong bangus and pansit malabon at 150 Panay Avenue.

That was The Turning point from an entree of inihaw na tilapia and nilagang mani in Purok 3 to the main course of oven roasted chicken, kinilaw at inihaw na isda, leche flan and pork barbecue in Poblacion East where the Fairchild Estate celebrated the MILF of Bakal 2's split second Tuesday afternoon appearance clad in what is almost her articles of underwear.

But The Bombardment of the betrayal lingered, Audible and reverberating between Copenhagen's Jeanne d'Arc School and the Maryland School for the Deaf, infurating enough for the Phantom Biker to abandon his bike for the concrete jungle of Tomas Morato where breakfast is available 24 hours of the day that can be as sea salty like GoodAh!!!'s Batangas lomi or heavenly as the pares of Pares Retiro or boring like Kanto Freestyle's Spam and egg, Thursday bumped off by Session 14 of a virtual CALP, Friday exploding into a clash between the classics (Ihaw Balot Plaza's inihaw na pusit at tuna belly + pork and chicken ass barbecue) and the nouveau (Rue Bourbon's all meat pizza). 

Bulan finally moved to a refurbished Room 101 in Sta. Cruz (not Sampaloc) but there was a long line at the Toho Panciteria Antigua, long enough to remember, forget and don't care  about any 11th installation ceremonies because we should have tried something new like the miki bihon and pork spare ribs instead of the lousy bihon guisado, a disappointing special pork chop and the familiar fried chicken at Ramon Lee's Panciteria in Sta. Cruz (not Binondo).

In Munoz, Freddie Mercury serenaded the trails with Hanwoo Rhapsody and lyrical references to the jeongol, bulgogi, gomtang, seolleongtang, moongtigi and jokpyeon that were interpreted in Bakal 2 as a bilao of malabok, hastily prepared tuna kinilaw and sashimi, tahong with not enough gata, sisig and tinumis from Talavera, and a great time with true friends!