VIVA MAX (almost Mad but not Alvarado)

Dear Xerex,

Ang Kinsenas, Katapusan ay katumbas ng 13/18 at ang unti-unting pagtibag sa mga naikaskas sa credit card para makaipon ng pangkisame at pamasahe papunta sa Japan na siyang Obsession ng nagdiwang ng kanyang ika-51 kaarawan noong ika-22 ng Mayo.

Kulang ng isang paa ang litsong manok, makunat ang barbecue mula kay Bulan, gogi wanja ang sahog ng spaghetti, magaspang ang ga-mangkok na leche flan, tinubuan ng amag ang natirang black forest cake at Puno ice cream. 

Si Junior ang Tubero ng Bakal 2 na kailanman ay hindi sumipot kaya tuluyan nang nawala ang Lagaslas ng poso bago pa man maiabot ang susi kay Kuya Rey na sa unang pagkakataon ay dumaan sa bayan ng Natividad patungo at mula sa Palayan noong ika-27 ng Mayo.

Durog ang ginisang bitsuwelas, nagmantika ang sinaing na tulingan, sakto lang ang lambot ng litsong baka pero matabang ang timpla ng litsong baboy.  

Bagamat hindi natuloy ang Manila Erotica sa Cabanatuan ay nailuto naman ng maayos ang handa sa kaarawan ng kapitbahay matapos masiguro sa Bula na walang singaw ang regulator at matiyak na may laman pa ang Gasul sa pamamagitan ng Silip sa Apoy.

Makunat ang sinampalukang ulo ng kambing at lechong paksiw, malasa ang kaldereta pero may kulang sa timpla ng sisig.

Kamuntik nang mailunsad ang Sex Games sa 32nd SEA Games na pinawi ng 5 araw na pagpadyak sa Munoz bago tuluyang iniuwi ni Bulan ang bisikleta niya sa Maynila habang nagpapamudmud ng bigas si Mayora.  

Sangkatutak na suso ang nakabilad sa Vivamax sa halagang P149 kada buwan na pansamantalang tinabingan ng itim na kurtina dahil walang permiso na makipag-Phone Sex si Ara Mina sa Jakarta...

4(-1)(+1)(-2) DRUNK MEN

A Frame in Time

bars, beer and billiards
temple walls and the boy who would be prime minister
the Sangharaja's residence
novices and zumba dancers
police versus a hysterical street vendor
dogs mating in temple grounds

That was Thursday after 

Monday's Bactidol capture in Manila
Tuesday's encounter with seeing hands
when beef was grilled with spears of rain 

Khmer brews lined for the intramurals 

'twas the last day of positivity 

 Wednesday at Thyna BBQ 

grilled beef twice and peanuts
Srey Da's poetry in six words
Cambodia, Ganzberg, Angkor, Hanuman, Krud, ABC
the muse of beers disappear on karaoke night
negativity's triumph celebrated 

 

Back to Thursday

a festival of carabao and eel

buckets of cold canned Cambodian lager

the Lao conspiracy hatched

French wine, cheese and charcuterie board gone too soon

craft beer for the Craftsman

How to Become a Tyrant

choose between the beer, the food or the wife

find a box office bride in Dumaguete

create a narrative of negativity 

unfriend a new friend

break a vow a day after making one

THE TON IN MANILA

We are le bon ton but not in a snubbish upper 10,000 way.

In fact, only one of us feel and act as the landed gentry of Oxford and was absent when we were celebrating successes at the pool of The B Hotel.

And the success that Queen Charlotte narrated as A Bridgerton Story tasted much like sisig, kare-kare, gambas, kalderatang baka and the empty tables of the HidN Lounge.

In a subsequent reflection session just after a deluge hit Limbaga 77 Cafe and Restaurant, I realized that G2 approaches and strategies are in fact a menu of results that hinted of sweet and sour fish, strengths in the form of spicy seafood adobo, and weaknesses wafting with bistek tagalog although the influence that swayed our diverse stakeholders is a serving of kaldereta with a dash of women's economic empowerment, a tray of inihaw na liempo garnished with climate change resilience, and a sampler of tokwa't baboy, crispy shrimps and crablets swimming in a dip of inclusive business.

There was a lot of closures.

And it was being redundant so we left the contract requirements for a fried chicken, the workplan for a crispy pata, a lumpiang shanghai checklist, and the technical sustainability plan for a tuna sisig at the mercy of tuneless echoes emanating from the corners of the Music Match Family KTV.

As we segued into the design workshop, vegetarian chop suey, adobong manok and bangus belly were identified as the thematic areas of focus at Pepeton's Grill where grilled tuna belly, bicol express and kapalmuks were also passionately discussed as the value chains of the night when Vietnam drew with Thailand at the 32nd Southeast Asian Games. 

Finally, a theory of change was sketched with cheese sticks from a palette of nachos and key interventions as a regional strategy inspired a plate of buffalo wings to build a nest in My Brother's Moustache.

Meanwhile in The Last Kingdom, it was prophecied that Seven Kings Must Die and two already did with the third one passing peacefully to the other side on Friday morning.

That and a clogged nose somehow took out the zing from the cheesy Cali Pizza, enticed a tequila shot and a bottle of wine at HidN Bar, and opened bottles of Red Horse and the microphone at Dekada Bar and Grill where the world was told to fuck off by Heneral Luna who went berserk in the churchyard.   

PHENOMENA (Almost)

On Saturday, Fr. Pilon opened the Cabinet of Curiosities from Madrid.

Lot 36 revealed a purple apron and a circular jewel that the ghoul of Salem cemetery stole from the dead miners of Millbrook who were preserved in Alo Glo lotion at the morgue of Miskatonic University.  

Meanwhile, those who has returned to The Sandpiper House dressed the kinilaw na bangus and sashimi with liquid gold to overwhelm the stench of the murmurations.

The unbreakable vow of the week was violated before the squires can even stand guard on a broken column that Saturday afternoon when buckets of beer lubricated the floor where Sagrario and Gloria sang, danced and kissed in Guimba that was later hopelessly chased with Botejyu's hot bowl of pork tonkotsu ramen to help digest a welcome dinner of sizzling bulalo, grilled tuna belly, sisig, pansit guisado and inihaw na manok from the kitchens of the Ihaw Balot Plaza.    

Thus was how the Phantom Biker left the bike trails of Munoz with A Tourist's Guide to Love that led him to the B Hotel for 5 days of GRAISEA b-leisure.

PAL(pak) in Dumaguete

I finally have wifi access in Larena and apparently, I missed Salagdoong Beach and the St. Vincent de Ferrer bell tower (circa late 1800s) in Enrique Villanueva in lieu of Paliton Beach and the Black Maria.

That was when I learned of PAL's regret in informing me that PR 2544 at 11:10 AM on May 1 has been rescheduled to May 5 due to "operational requirements".

I can understand and bear with a delay for a few hours but 4 days is insane and PAL is crazy or not thinking properly!

I burned the lines while waiting for my RoRo trip back to Dumaguete from the Siquijor Seaport but PAL's provided Viber and email contacts responded only a day later, I was Queue #77 in their hotline that did not call back, and Queue #47 in Whatsapp.

Thankfully, my wifi access held on as we crossed Cebu Strait and I was Queue #1 as I disembarked in Dumaguete, and was rebooked for a return flight to Manila at 4:05 PM on May 2 by a PAL Assist representative via Whatsapp by the time I finished dinner and had a massage at Rizal Boulevard.   

So how did I killed an extra day in Dumaguete at my cost but PAL's fault?

I started by having a breakfast of budbud, pan de sal with maling and sikwate at the public market's painitan then walked to the St. Catherine of Alexandria Cathedral where I attended some dead person's funeral mass. 

I crossed into Manuel L. Quezon Park afterwards where I examined an ancient fire engine and gawked at a monument commemorating Bro. Jose P. Rizal's visit to Dumaguete with a supplicant Maria Clara behind him. 

Weng B. did not respond to my message inviting myself to their Balinsasayaw Twin Lakes tour in Valencia so I went to Robinson's to shop for underwear (they don't carry the Jockey brand), decided against bringing home Sans Rival silvanas (Eriel's is better), and spent the rest of the morning tinkering with my Facebook and blog posts at Room 227 of the Go Hotel.  

I was thinking of Tanjay to kill the afternoon but it was too far at 79.2 kilometers so I took a habalhabal to Jo's Chicken Inato for a lunch of paa, sinugba and buko halo then went back to the hotel and finished watching the Transatlantic series.

By 5:30 PM when the sun is more tolerable, I walked to Rizal Boulevard to while time, watched people promenading, listened to a karaoke concert, finally tried a tempura stall that was topped with kinilaw and a tasteless seaweed salad before walking back to the hotel and going to bed earlier than usual.

The next day, I decided not to go to Dauin and Bacong after all because it's too hot and, this time with the guidance of the hotel front desk, walked to downtown instead to find my Siquijor driver/guide's "Panes" that turned out to be Panie's Fastfood where I was the only costumer in an oven-hot dining hall.

An authentic balbacua finally that kept the sweat pouring and a chunk of kalderetang kambing too, not exactly breakfast fare but it was what I came for.

I walked back to the hotel, checked out to the airport in Sibulan by 13:00, was in Manila at 17:15, hopped into a Grab car at 17:40 and was able to catch the last bus to Santiago at 16:50.

I was home by 23:30 and fuck PAL!

SIQUIJOR

Once upon a time, an army of fireflies protected the Kingdom of Katugasan from intruders.

The fireflies were conjured from the depths of the sea by Lucia, the most powerful of the mambabarangs and spiritual adviser to Datu Kihod.

Thus was how it became known as Isla del Fuego.

In 1783, the Augustinian Recollects came back and laid claim to the island by building the Church of St. Francis of Assisi from 1795 until 1831.

Lucia is long gone, presumably beaten to death by her own grandchild, but the church remained standing to greet me as I finally set foot in Siquijor.

The missionaries could have landed at Paliton Beach in a white boat and welcomed with a heart-shaped arch.

I did but through an ancient multicab with a defective battery and was welcomed with a snack of vinegar-laced fresh sea urchin.  

Lucia could be all of the tiny fishes at the spring that flows from the roots of a 400-year old enchanted balete tree so out of respect, I did not dip for a foot spa and offered an offering of special balbacua instead. 

In appreciation, her spirit ignited the dead battery of our rickety multicab. 

I came mainly for the San Isidro Labrador Church (circa 1884) and Convent (circa 1887-1891) that have been both declared as National Cultural Treasures and nominated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

There, Lucia greeted me as the pink lady walking through the church aisle who I later saw gazing from the window of the convent. 

Lucia was the young lady with a floral top taking a photo at Level 3 of the Cambugahay Falls, the woman in all white (cap, shirt, cut off jeans) crossing from Level 2, and the girlfriend in a modest black two-piece bathing suit who was checking her phone in Level 3.

I can feel her pushing me as I made my way up the steep 135 steps where my driver/guide, under her spell, waited to take me to a lunch of kilawen at tolang malasugue that she caught herself for Jacs Kitchenette.

11.3 kilometers away is the Church of Our Lady of Divine Providence that was built in mid-1800s and it is there that I understood her presence and intention.

She is the Black Maria and she wanted me to bring home Lilibeth's pan de bisaya and to pay homage to the spirits of the Cang-Isok House, the oldest surviving house in Siquijor currently under renovation, that was built on the same years as the church where she is now enshrined.

I was supposed to have lunch at the Larena Triad Coffee Shop but my driver/guide told me the price is treefold there and took me somewhere else cheaper and better.

Still, we were led there while looking for the site of Siquijor Masonic Lodge No. 418, the islands of Bohol and Cebu visible from its view deck, and it was there where Gmail informed me of my flight being rescheduled from May 1 to May 5.

Lucia has left us but I was finally able to buy a pack of Marlboro lights.

I betted on the lotto in Siquijor and with her blessing, I might finally be able to win the grand prize and buy myself a plane.