LEGENDS OF THE FAIL

The Fishbowl Wives brought tiim na pata, kalderetang kambing at bibe, and sashimi as divined by the myterious shaman from the elevators for the 40th installation rites of the men with funny caps and the liberation of Sakura who presented the Phantom Biker with a wooden plaque as a gesture of her appreciation for his weekly Netflix binges, One Percent of which are sensual episodes of unfaithful housewives playing with a Toy Boy and goldfishes in Season 2 where El Turco and Rania displayed their Devotion, A Story of Love and Desire from Marbella to Milan, unmasking the infidelities of Margherita and Carlo to ignite the invasion of Ukraine.

On Monday, those asked to Forgive our Trespasses gathered over adobong mani in Pugad Baboy to dispense justice to the perps of Baloc, the Thursday Group extending the plenary until Tuesday's daing na pusit and Wednesday's pritong tilapia after the failed psychometrician of Bakal 2 was mauled in Rosales by a Fistful of Vengeance that  was auctioned with Saturday's burnt danggit in Season 1 of the Swap Shop in Rogersville and a Sunday finale of adobo at tiim na bibe.  

Through the 7 days of the week, the Phantom Biker broke a bottle each of Johnny Walker, Singleton and Glenfiddich; and emptied cases of Red Horse Extra Strong and San Miguel Pale Pilsen except on Thursday after the MILF of Bakal 2 appeared as plump breasts bursting from a tight floral sando. 

Through the 7 days of the week, the Phantom Biker roamed the trails of Munoz with his heir, except on Saturday when he explored the bridges of Sto. Domingo, Talavera and Aliaga with the Bakal 2 Riders before his MILF popped up as panty lines etched in a flimsy duster.

ST. VALENTINE'S BOOSTED

Ji-hoo, the Toy Boy from Marbella, emerged unscatched from the Inferno as Season 1 concluded with a threesome of Hugo Beltran Gonzales, Macarena Medina de Solis and Triana Marin to honor the St. Valentines of Rome and Terni who were also feted in Bakal 2 with a dinner of kinilaw na tuna, sinaing na tulingan and grilled pork bits. 

The slightly used airconditioner conked for the second time but enough for Ji-woo to rein Mateo, Inspector Zapata and Dona Benigna on Love and Leashes, Wednesday's Hit and Run package of the usual tokwa't baboy and a jar of tapang baka from Tel Aviv, and Friday's DOLEd litsong kawali and sinampalukang manok from Queens.  

Ashley made it to Tetuan's Pinoy Balut Bar where Segev Azulai moonlights as a chef to support his quest of unmasking Danielle Wexler and Catching Killers in Season 2 of the BTK, the Phoenix serial shooter, and Toronto's village killer who converged in Munoz with the accussed of Baloc for a penance of tapang baboy ramo with the usual from Rommel's,  and a kinilaw na bangus finale in Bakal 2.  

Bad Blood was thinned when Balong finally got boosted in Season 2 where the Phantom Biker roamed an imaginary retirement farm as The Privilege of fentanyl wiped out the 'Ndrangheta and Cosoleto Family in Montreal to make way for Finn Bergmann's haunted mushrooms and the reemergence of the MILF in Bakal 2 from the shower room, tanked and laced in black satin... 

THE GODFATHER'S TERMINATOR

The Whisper of Madrid is actually a T-1000 who came In From the Cold to Montreal where Gideon played the Teflon Don and Declan like marionettes chewing sisig, lechong manok and inihaw na hito on Friday night of Season 1 to chase the taste of Bad Blood from Bruno and Gio who actually are the doppelgangers of Tom Hagen and Luca Brasi, respectively. 

Sidney was the Chosen from Los Angeles but the Thursday Group hijacked the Danish Terminator of Middlebo with a feast of boiled peanuts, paksiw na tilapia and stolen Spam as Emma raced through Thailand and Mexico to exorcise The Eye of Ana Cristina Martinez that first witnessed the divination of Ling.

In Rosales, pleadings play from My Father's Violin for Frankie and Istak to unleash the the magic of Ozlem upon a delayed licensure exams as the Phantom Biker conjured an imaginary race from Antwerp to Istanbul through the rice planters in the onion fields, the power lines crossing experimental plots, and the new bridge between San Fabian and Pag-asa where Agent Adereth lusted after the faded beauty of Monica Belluci who was the Spider in the Web that tried to snare him with a violet apron he can't refuse but did anyway. 

CRASH LANDING ON BEER

The reason Edong drowned in copra oil and disappear from Bulusan is to be resurrected as Vance in the Church of the Returned in Cuba where the men who wear funny caps offered tiim na pata, fried siomai and seafood paella for the advent of the water tiger.

Dee did not sing "Ikaw" in Season 2 but Saanvi who really is the Major with the slightly used air-conditioner that was used to entice the Xers in baring the gayness of Zeke and Jared to the Thursday Group in Bakal 2 for a fee of litsong manok, sisig, and spicy dilis.    

In The Big Apple, the three meth heads Manifest in the tail fin of Flight 828 as a lifeboat full of adobong bibe and sinampalukang manok enroute to Season 3 and the continuing saga of old friends quarreling over pandesal and what was absolutely sold or not. 

The scent of she-who-must-not-be-named lingered in Baloc where those who wear aprons whipped up kalderetang bibe and pritong galunggong for the Eureka Project, a gift of whiskey and the Phantom Biker who chronicled the life and times of a visiting diginitary.