THE INVISIBLE MEN

Spirits lurk in the kingdom of Dominic of Osma and among them are Leonid Kadnikov and Rostegui, erstwhile cupid and poster boy for the silence of the lambs whose mercenary motives were not detected by the Sentinelle of Nice, whose crimes against morality slipped through the watch of the Basque Country's Coven of Sisters, they who connived with Grace and seduced Mary and Tom Morrison to prey on the helpless as an evil polygon of invisible men with Deadly Illusions. 

They will be brought to justice by The Yin Yang Master and they will pay for their sins of disturbing the harmony, sullying a Dream of Eternity and betraying Qing Ming who on Monday night drowned his sorrows on Cuba Libre and brandy as Tae-sul finally kissed Seo-hai and angelic Jun-woo was unmasked as Han-seok the devil.

Real friends are visible and they met on Tuesday for San Miguel Beer, fried tilapia and sisig; great friends were seen on Thursday enjoying Red Horse Extra Strong Beer, fried chicken breasts and tokwa't baboy; Friends in Season 1 revealed Rachel Green's nipples and exposed Monica Geller as the Lucy Spiller with a vibrator.

And protruding nipples is what must Sarah Ward be among the Rust Valley Restorers of Tappen as the Phantom Biker teleported from the bike trails of Nueva Ecija to Canada where once upon a time, the initial "G" meant an MILF from Almaguer.   

AN INCREDIBLE PIRATE TALE

Only two bikers joined the tour across Joana Lumley's Japan on Saturday with most of the peloton opting to regenarate sun-and-sand burns from Abu Dhabi with balms of Monbetsu crab and Sapporo beer while the survivors of Salon-de-Provence and Blausasc were resusciated with a blended ointment of daiginjo and junmai in Akita.

And there were those exposed to the virus in Levens and perhaps in San Benedetto del Tronto too who were quarantined in Nagasaki's Henn-na Hotel, so Joana's two bikers joined the San Remo finishiers in Okinawa to learn karate after a nourishing breakfast of Goto Supreme in Balante.   

That same Saturday afternoon, the pirates struck in Baloc and Talavera, not Under the Influence of Keith Richards but with Captain Teague from The Lost Pirate Kingdom of Benjamin Hornigold in Nassau who launched the careers of Black Sam Bellamy and Blackbeard In the Heart of the Sea in pursuit of Capt. George Pollard, First Mate Owen Chase and the Phantom Biker as they search for Moby Dick in the Offshore Grounds of Nueva Ecija's biking haunts.

Meanwhile, Sigma reentered from 2035 through the uploader to join a Tuesday Special of dinakdakan and shabu-shabu, and stayed until Saint Joseph the Worker's feast day where he extorted beef kalederata, patatim, inihaw na bangus and ginataang tanigue from the Thursday Club in exchange for a preview of Episodes 11-16.

Pre-empted, Wusang threathened to expose Episodes 11-20 unless Babel pay off the capped men in Baloc with sisig and pinapaitan, the smell of fermented beer lingering until the pirates struck on the day of the Amaranths...    

RED (not Frank Moses)

A Piper Sineca crashing the fellowship of the Princes of Panatag Shoal flashed in the screen as Scottish Rite cardinals decorated the grizzled Master of the Royal Secret with an imaginary Passion Cross and Synthetic Badge, the Red Cap of a Knight Commander of the Court of Honor invested upon his head and the Belt of Knighthood bounded to his waist by garbled voices from the Living Triangle of the Hierarchy; 8 years, 5 months and 5 days of service as a True Soldier against ignorance, oppression, bigotry and dependence finally recognized and rewarded from 137.4 kiometers away and feted with creamy carbonara and stale toasted bread.   

A triumphant music from Roberto Nesta Marley in Carry-le-Rouet concluded the virtual Ceremonial of Investiture before a lunch of tinolang manok and paksiw na bangus where the honorees asked "What Happened, Miss Simone?", to which Eunice Kathleen Waymon who was dining on lumpiang shanghai and lumpiang sariwa in Trenchtown asked back "Who Shot the Sherrif?". 

The Phantom Biker's election and investiture was carried by the News of the World with Capt. Jefferson Kidd reporting on three headlines: the Tuesday Special's S&R pizza eclipsing that of Shakey's from the Monday of the Ilocanos, the preference for Friday's homecooked pininyahang manok and estofadong baboy over Saturday's bland kalderetang kambing, and that Hanna and Cicada are the same person who hijacked the fried dalagang bukid-ala fishball and adobong kamaru of the Thursday Group. 

The Phantom Biker is actually the Master of the Royal Secret and Knight Commander of the Court of Honor in disguise who for 7 days roamed the trails in search of The Terminator (aka Kang Seo-hae) to ask her on what episode will she finally be shagged by Sara Connor (aka Han Tae-sul), and Tom Hagen (aka Hong Cha-young) to feel her wetness for The Godfather (aka Vincenzo Cassano).

ROLLING STONED

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards faced off with Ron Wood and Charlie Watts in Football's Greatest Stage for the World Cup of aging rock stars as the crowd of Mexican Rolingas cheered a wave that rolled through A Trip Across Latin America where Pele, Cafu, Dunga and Ronaldo performed as the Rolling Stones of halftime breaks that always conclude with an encore of Victor Jara's anthem about the Massacre at the Stadium and the ballad of the Past Masters in Baloc.

Kyoto clashed with upstart Edo on Super Tuesday where the Three Great Unifiers from the Age of Samurai --- Nobunaga at center forward with Hideyoshi and Ieyasu as striker and second striker, respectively --- rained goals on the old man in his dotage and irrelevance while in Korea, the Thursday Special between Han Tae-sul of Sisyphus and Vicenzo Cassano raged non-stop until the waterboy has emptied the ice box of fried bangus, samgyupsal meat strips and refrigerated sisig to complement the dinakdakan and pinispisan from Talavera.

Lara Jean might be a delectable oriental prey To All the Boys of LA and Bakal 2 but the Phantom Biker prefer experience over innocence, mature Live Nude Girls like Aunt Nancy and the blue blooded MILF, an orgy of American Kamasutra instead of just plainly Banging Lanie and Ms. Corylus, or perhaps a day of walking over 5 days of biking.

5 HAIKUS

#1

virgin and whore kissed

fame quenched, evil choked, love wins

Million Yen Women

#2

their Izakaya

house of sake, beer, whiskey

her Bottakuri

#3

Rob, Behind Her Eyes

welcomed David through their loins

fairies of Fairdale

#4

first they took Berlin

Crimson Crows, wild Origines

Tribes of Europa

#5

the biker is bored

one Chilean dud, two great Cups

ginga is Pele