FOOD HEIST

Penang's food thieves struck simultaneously, carting pots of laksa from Air Itam, kway teow from Chowrasta and Hookien mee from Apollo then converging on Cecil Street for their final heist of fried sago and lotus popiah. 

Agent Estrada spotted them and Sergeant Beckett have all targets locked on the crosshairs of his CheyTac M200 for the ultimate kill as the sun set in Bogota. 

In Perak, Menglembu's newspaper rice got drenched in a bowl of Kampar rice noodles, braised intestines and pighead skin in lieu of the mee rebus that remains hostaged in Pokok Assam. 

SEAL Team 6 finally got Geronimo in Abbottabad to rightfully claim a bounty of fried meat nasi lemak and stewed bean curd from Chow Kit and Seri Kembangan, respectively, that were locked somewhere in Selangor for safekeeping.  

On the 104th day of ineptitude, the quarantine security at the Munoz wet market was breached to liberate a kilo of paddy straw mushroom and a bundle of bitter gourd leaves for a Sunday breakfast.

The Phantom Bikers were in hot pursuit of Jason's loot but Sibu Central's mee goreng sup and Stutong's fermented mustard rice noodles disappeared in Sarawak.

In Malacca, Eng Seng's chicken rice balls was disguised as a stuffed tofu while Pecan Cina's fried mee hoon has become indistinguisable from curry mee when they finally arrived in Kedah.

In the end, they retreated to Munoz and have to do with mami, goto and arroz caldo. 

MIDDAY DINER

It was 12 noon chimed the clock towers as The Traveller peeled from the traffic of Rue Saint-Honore into yam'Tcha where he expectantly ordered a bowl of rice from the Asian sommelier.

He was however told that the nearest thing to rice in the menu for Fete des Peres is a stilton cheese-filled steamed bao and was instead directed to the Maison Troisgros where the salmon and sorrel is almost as good as fried catfish and sauteed water spinach, or perhaps to L'Arpege for a ratatouille that looks almost like pinakbet.

The oyster was served, prepared by a guest chef from La Marine with the Guimaras oil spill for inspiration, and thus was how he ended with carbonara from leftover spaghetti and reheated stuffed chicken.

That same day, The Master from Shinjuku KTV was serving three costumers at the Guerrero Lodge.

Table 1 asked for a Harmony Session of tan-men, corn dog, tanteki and omelette rice while in Table 2, a birthday is celebrated with egg tofu, umeboshi and plum wine as Albert Pike's men rowdily feasted on a hot pot for one, sauteed yam, ham cutlet and New Year's Eve noodles in Table 3.

Over the high wall, the November Man pre-ordered a breakfast spread for the Phantom Bikers and waited while conferring with Henry of Monmouth. 

It was midday when they arrived from 6 days of touring and by that time, the sweet rolled omelette hatched into a chicken rice, the fried chicken breast with cheese snuggled into a yakisoba dog, and the plum rice ball got stabbed by fried chicken wings.

Mushrooms also grew on the salmon and the crab drowned in a toshikoshi soba as the kitsune udon and curry ramen wilted from prolonged exposure to the Photographer at Mauthausen.

ALMOST FATHER'S DAY

Pipa's intuition is to honor Juanez but that already happened 1,020 years ago in the Sunday of the Forefathers who lived before the age of the Ten Commandments, and on St. Joseph's Nutritor Domini too 620 years ago until Miss Dodds thought of the third Sunday of June 110 years ago and some 33 years before Lts. George Stout and James Rorimer recovered the fathers (and mothers) etched in stolen art to erect monuments for their men. 

In Damascus, the scent of Kim's porcelain armpits led Hans/Ari to the The Angel who had a three layered flesh steeped in 5 Bloods before having it grilled for a funny Pinoy Sunday lunch. 

But Dado and Manuel got the date wrong date and sent the following disassembled Taichung bike parts a week too early:

• Cocotina T800 carbon fiber frame for Osteria Francescana's "5 Ages of Parmigiano Reggiano" on Monday;
• West Viking shock absorbing hollow saddle for Blue Hill's menu for an ethical restaurant on Tuesday; 
• Fcfb carbon barhandle for Pathagonia Sur's crucified lamb on Wednesday;
• Shimano Deore XT M8000 group set for n/naka's full set kaiseki on Thursday;
• Sram Sram XX gripshift for a list of Attica's local ingredients on Friday; and
• Shimano M820 Saint disc break set for a sampling of Faviken's Nordic cuisine on Saturday.

The samgyeopsal-gui for Father's Day came a Sunday too early for the Phantom Biker.   

Mongolian BBQ for GCQ

ROSE, lustfully: "Marco..."

The Three Stars of Atelier Crenn wilted during its 642-kilometer journey from San Francisco to Malibu Beach while in Chicago, Gaggan and Pujul conferred over Alinea's surreal menu on whether Bangkok should relocate to Kolkata and Mexico City move in Oaxaca to justify their fame of being the gold standard in Indian and Mexican cuisines, respectively, like what DOM stands for Brazil in Sao Paolo and Hisa Franko for Slovenia.   

CHARLIE HARPER, annoyed: "Polo."

Master Polo cringed inside the Khan's ger, his senses dulled by too much airag but conscious enough to smell Princess Khutulun sitting on his face and feel the wet warmth of Princess Kokachin impaled in his loins while Hundred Eyes and the Chancellor duel in the steppe between Khanbaliq and Karakorum as Mei Lin and Empress Chabbi feasted on Five Snouts and lick each other's crevice in honor of Baloc's Knights Templar.

In the Cenral Plains, the Phantom Rider and his Mongolian iron horse chase after the cheap burger of White Castle but found whiskey instead because McDonald's started in 1948, Shakey's in 1954 and Chowking in 1985 but will only open at 8 am for take-outs. 

THE BREACH

The Ambassador Hotel's kitchen staff were washing the dishes after a victory dinner of Virginia rolls, green beans and pumpkin pie when Bobby walked in and got shot by the man who was just finishing a cup of coffee from the lady in a white polka dot dress that turned out to be the wrong Missy.

At that time, nearby Mozza would have been baking its version of Italian pizza but the 6th of June 1968 is 51 years and 360 days too early for Los Angeles.

Bobby was mourned at St. Patrick's Cathedral as nearby Ivan's Ramen would have been garnishing the world's best Japanese ramen but the 8th of June 1968 is 51 years and 358 days too early in New York City.

Vegetarian temple food was served in South Korea's Chunjinam Hermitage for the funeral while at White Rabbit in Moscow, moose lip dumplings were prepared to greet the dead.

Meanwhile, death masks are now the fashion for the living...  

The quarantine in San Jose City and Guimba was finally breached as Phantom Bikers pedal the world, taking off from Berlin's Restaurant Tim Raue who Aryanized Asian cuisine and finishing in Lima's Central who made meals out of the Peruvian ecosystem.