BIG IN GAPAN

PR406 to Sapporo's New Chitose Airport has been in flight since 2020. 

But the runaways were still littered with the corpses of kikimoras and strzygas so Geralt of Rivia finally had it diverted to Balibago's Surla Street where it cleared Rumpa Restaurant as PR2340 to Puerto Princesa. 

It was not just that on the 22nd.

In Pantabangan, the Djinn's absurd P300 toll fee denied Pugad Baboy access to the palatial fakeness of the Highland Bali Villas Resort and Spa and were instead portaled by Yennefer of Vengerberg to a public view of the mystical lake for a tariff of just P30.

They then went chasing after leshys and myriapods through the onion fields of Bongabon after breaking the fast with a salty gotong Batangas in Rizal that brought them to the Sunset Peak Nature Camp in Laur where The Witcher asked a tithe of P20 to conjure the vast plains of Nueva Ecija.  

The momiji turned black in Asuke as Hokkaido transformed into a desert where sakura blossoms matured into huge seedless papayas as soon as Pugad Baboy touched down on Delos Reyes Street to make it Big in Gapan after a huge traffic jam in Castellano.

After our delayed 24th and before the 25th, unlimited samgyeopsal and extra large SNR pizza were drawn out of an afternoon downpour in Cabanatuan while in Angeles, the Crown Princess of Cintra consulted with mages on the diffirentiation of a Porterhouse to a T-Bone, or if the expired cream cheese in Bakal 2 will transform Emong's pandesal into a fruitcake that will save the decade's second pandemized Christmas. 

On the 23rd, the Phantom Biker strained for a glimpse of the forbidden flesh before it metamorphosed into tiim na manok and crispy pata for the Christmas feast.

On the 24th, the MILF of Bakal 2 returned to slice kinilaw na tuna from her bare thighs for the noche buena. 

On the 25th, the Thursday Club scoured the bike trails and gathered enough for a kinilaw na tanigue and lechong paksiw to conclude the first of the Holidays. 

24 IN THE TIME OF COVID-19

A Castle for Christmas made of opal and erected near a blue lagoon in Scotland was presented to the power couple of Bakal 2 on the occassion of their tanzanite wedding with divorcee Sophie McGuinty Brown, widow Rose Gordon, mama-san Lo Yu-nung and SPO1 Alice Lagaac as primary sponsors for the 24th time.  

On that day, the Power of the Dog was alerted against the anthrax that emerged from Tiaotong's Club Paradiso, Det. Pan Wen-cheng and the Cowboy Bebop on stand by for a quick get away to Montana in case of an anticipated assault from the Red Dragon Syndicate that is as Vicious and Fearless as scheming Julia.

Apostle Thomas Richardson officiated the re-exchange of vows with passages from River Maya as Ffion treated Jeremy to a slow cowboy ride in Erisden, cousins Clara and Pablo caught by The Tapes in an incestuous dance to Light the Night in Baloc and expose Kuyang Jorge's tryst with the faceless ladies who called themselves Judy. 

Armed with ancient Arisaka rifles, PO2 Mariano and PI Lionel Essrog hosted the wedding feast in Baloc where leftover adobong kambing and nilagang baboy, fried hito, dinakdakan and adobong bibe were served to those who breached the prohibition on mass gatherings because, the More the Merrier it is. 

The Phantom Biker went solo in the bike trails as always, like Motherless Brooklyn who, from the dark clouds of Super Typhoon Odette, conjured images of the Red Planet Hotel in Poblacion where the MILF from Bakal 2, she-who-must-not-be-named and the Noodle Queen were treated by Senpai Adela to the ultimate Cuddle Weather.

THE EPIPHANY OF ALICIA SIERRA

Alicia, Isabela is 100 kilometers north of Almaguer South and a further 8 kilometers is the former Northeast Luzon Academy where the eldest son of Pepito and Eufrocina spent his first tumultuous three years of high school feasting on lechon and fine champagne cognac as a Knight Commander of the Court of Honor.

Angadanan Viejo was renamed as Alicia in 1949 in memory of Dona Alicia Syquia Quirino who was murdered by Imperial Japanese forces during the Battle of Manila in 1945 whose remains were later exhumed by the Collectors of Seoul and tranported 11,510 kilometers to Madrid where she was resurrected by the deacons of the New Truth Society and the Arrowhead hoodlums as Inspector Alicia Sierra of the Policia Nacional who ruthlessly chased The Professor and his gang of capital cities in Parts 3-4. 

But she came back two years too early so Chairman Jeong Jin-soo had her Hellbound through therapy sessions with Dr. Jean Holloway who was featured in a tit show with a barista in Episode 7 where leftover kalderetang kambing and tiim na bibe from the Great Plebeian's 158th birthday were reheated and served with beer.

Thus was the transformation of Alicia Sierra as a renegade Gypsy in Part 5 who, with Dong-goo the grave robber and Hye-jin the lawyer, plotted a Money Heist of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York that included a loot of authentic Charcuterie Board, luxury cognac, mature anejo tequila and Australian moscato wine from Friday the 10th.   

  

The MILF of Bakal 2 was a no-show but the scent of she-who-must-not-be-named lingered for three days to Hush the lesbian, the swinger, the sex doll, the working wife, the scammer, the jealous wife and the voyeur as the Phantom Biker prowled the trails to reminisce the greatest moments of his first pussy ever: a daring Vasily-Tanya fuck in Mayumo, an unforgettable doggie in Mapisong, stolen moments of lust in Pulong Bibit, the moans of pleasure in Culiat, a plea for cum in Quezon City, and the magical fingers of Binondo that were as salacious as the episodes of the maid and the enchanted while somewhere, the brushing of fingers with a petite mami vendor aroused an appetite for iced beer and slices of tinned pork shoulder ham on an Amaranthine Saturday afternoon...

A CONSPIRACY THEORY

The virus previously known as the Green River Killer of Washington and Happy Face Killer of Oregon was first detected as a serial killer in Florida before mutating into a narco-saint and a narco-terrorist that sent The Gentlemen of Cali to ICU.  

Kingston is ground zero of the current pandemic that broke out when the vaginal transudate that Dudus pumped from the Crack Queen of LA melded with the cum she sucked from Europe's Hash King during a royal threesome in Tivoli Gardens.

In Munoz, Frank Lucas and The Country Boys were inoculated by capped men for a fee of kinilaw na malasugue and fried chicken while in Baloc, real men wearing aprons administered antigen tests for The Petinggil Clan in exchange for a Charcuterie Board.  

Under the New Normal, Friday became Thursday's bland Spanish version of the tokwa't baboy from Carla Samuel to make way for Tuesday and two bottles of Jameson whiskey from Galway with a tray of lumpiang shanghai from the Drug Lords of Cabanatuan.

But Whatcha Wearin' in the time of the pandemic? 

Not face shields although Jack Taylor is always seen in a great coat that failed to cover So-yeon's bare tits as the Phantom Biker prayed to the The Magdalene Sisters that Garda Kate Noonan should show a nipple slip at least or a glimpse of an ass crack.