WHITE HOLE

My Name is Alex.

I am an undercover Maid sent to inflitrate the Inchang Metropolitan Police Agency.

I collect drunks like Sean from Bakal 2 and bury them in Fisher Island.  

 Her name is Ji-woo.

She's a stand up comedian from Hoi An who entertained the Tuesday Group in Maligaya.

She moves like a Chuchok Shrine coyote dancer and a Cambodian shadow puppet.  

The Phantom Biker is Jack Whitehall who Travels with My Father and this will be more than two lines. 

They stole a Hungarian beer bike in Bavaria, emptied Miletii Mici's wine cellar, missed the Humorina and ended up at the Merry Cemetery with a male belly dancer from Istanbul. 

Their MILF smelled of the Safeguard soap that Magic Mike strippers left in a Compton shower room after a Party Hard Wrestling match for the Thursday (+Friday) Group. 

Her name is "L", the initial of libog.

Lustful like a Sidney drag queen who was exiled to Uluru for interpreting the Morris dance like the sheeps of Portmeirion in extreme heat.  

Lecherous like the ghost of Chartwell who haunted the guests of Agatha Christie's island with a shag at The Hogwarts Express to Edinburg.

The Phantom Biker went cliff camping and cold water swimming on Sunday as deaths and birthdays were remembered with chilled beer and the image of "L" dressed in a flimsy night clothe...     

SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE LOST ATM CARD

The day after a communicating hydrocele was finally blocked, Det. Joe Baylor and KD6-3.7 of the LAPD were called to Tobias corner D. Delos Santos Streets to unravel the mystery of a vanished ATM card after the withdrawal of a surgeon's ransom on the morning of Pope Callixtus I's feast day.    

Upstart Young Wallander of Malmo's Polismyndigheten initally fingered the MILFs of Cote d'Azur as The Guilty party, an accussation furiously denied by the three ageing fuckables who challenged the detectives to instead arrest Blade Runner 2049 for committing the equivalent of a holdup by charging an atrocious professional fee of P77,940 for what was supposed to be a simple OPD procedure. 

This Untold Scandal of DOH000000000003960 is the secret discreetly shared by nurses Lady Jeong and Lady J, a heist so brazen it shamed Sang-woo's resume and eclipsed the toilet tryst of Min-nyeo and Deok-su, unregulated and illegal like the Squid Game played by Madame de La Pommeraye and Makani in the cornfields of Nebraska. 

There are thieves and There's Someone Inside Your House but in this case, it was the single mom who assisted Dr. Robert Langdon in deciphering The Da Vinci Code that led to the Angels and Demons of a raging Inferno where the vanished ATM card was consumed by the elements, Tuesday's dinakdakan and sisig replayed by a memory palace of controlled lust that came with Thursday's tokwa't baboy and fried tilapia, Friday's fried Spam strips, and a Sunday feast of dinakdakan, fried salmon skin and chicken tail, chicharong bulaklak, nachos, french fries and fully loaded lomi to celebrate the resumption of labors in King Solomon's temple.  

Enter Sherlock Holmes who deduced that the killer cab driver sold the vanished ATM card to Chinese smugglers to finance bomb pranks and the services of a dominatrix who was murdered by a freak hound dog in a ritual suicide, dead but resurrected by the wedding speech of the Napoleon of blackmail for the zombie bride who kept the secrets of AGRA, the cereal killer and Eurus in 221B Baker Street where the Phantom Biker always stop for a cuppa after marauding the bike trails of San Jose and Munoz.  

CIRCLES

The circle came and grew after the pandemic broke before shrinking into Smaller and Smaller Circles as national ID applications and passport renewals were accomplished through the intercession of Fr. Augusto Saenz of Payatas. 

These are almost miracles in the time of COVID-19, like the vaccines that finally came before and after the second wave which obliterated Crockket Island as the vampire priest was celebrating an Easter  Midnight Mass.  

I was Takahasi who was 14 That Night when Megumi passed through, her big tits wrapped in a white towel to ward off contamination from the sisig, pritong tilapia, chicharong baboy, dinakdakan and ginisang tokwa't baboy.  

But No One Gets Out Alive from the shower rooms of Cleveland, not even Ambar who have to tiptoe while holding a striped towel over her ample breasts, her freshly washed pussy ready to gobble the sinuglaw atop Itzpapalotl's head. 

Then Along Came a Spider and bit Bulan so a Man Hunt was ordered by Dr. Alex Cross and Det. Satoshi Yamura from Osaka to Washington DC for an antidote from the laboratories of Tenjin Pharmaceuticals.

The circle grew a bit and through it all, the Phantom Biker took on The Road to Red Restaurants List with Tomio Suda despite a malfunctioning Philam Vitality app to honor endangered menus and recipes on the verge of extinction.

In Zetsumeshi Road, the Bakal 2 Bikers chased meat udon, mixed plate, pork saute, daily special, soy sauce ramen, seafood bowl, stewed hamburger steak, ordinary lunch, omurice, yakisoba, pork style rice, and grated yam with rice but ended up with none. 

BAGUIO BLUES

Travelling to Baguio in the time of COVID-19 is as complicated as the Sex Education of Otis.

It did not happen with Maeve but Baguio did after a sleepless night thinking about the implications of an enlarged scrotum and how QR Codes, RT-PCR tests and unrequited love can turn Carson into a drunk at "Mang Ed's House of Bakareta" because the tinuno was served without the dinardaraan, Dino protesting the blandness of the bakareta, dinakdakan and pinapaitan by walking through Kisad with only his guitar and sablay, the triage insisting for us to repeat breakfast at Starbucks before having our passports renewed using the same photograph, "I'm Drunk, I Love You" stamped on where the seal of the Republic of the Philippines should be. 

I did got happily drunk because communicating hydrocele turned out to be an OPD case.

Bulan will get his second dose but the popcorn in Maligaya got stale from the sweat of an MILF from Bakal 2 who was near enough for me to discern hints of fried bangus wafting from her arm pits, The Chestnut Man nodding his agreement while being roasted by Detectives Thulin and Hessin in Copenhagen as The Stronghold in Marseille fell from the betrayal of Jerome while the Ganglands in Antwerp offer an atang of tiim na bibe, adobong itik, lumpiang shanghai, and colored puto to Sofia, the patron saint of double crossers. 

The Phantom Biker kept trying but Philam Vitality failed to rise to the occassion.

The farts kept coming too, in Hue with the distinct aroma of Bun Bo Hue accompanied by hints of Noma's weird menu and bits of Astrakhan caviar from Moscow, flatuelent courses but not enough to overpower the grilled pork ribs, baked tahong and chicharong bulaklak of Sts. Cosmas and Damian nor the Pansit Cabagan, nachos, fried chicken and pritong pisngi ng baboy of Sts. Ewald the Black and Ewald the Fair as Sonny Colbrelli broke through the barricades of Kennon Road to claim Paris-Roubaix.