SHOOTING CHURCHES, EATING NOODLES (2025 Semana Santa Edition)

The fishes wear colorful earings in Paoay while in Sta. Maria, the Virgin Mary keeps appearing in a guava tree on a hilltop.

That is why two massive earthquake baroque churches were built in both places so St. Augustine can preach to the sinner fishes of San Juan de Sahagun (1694-1710), and for the Nuestra Senora de la Asuncion to be able to keep guard of the guava tree in what was once known as Purok (1765-1810).     

And yes, we have the bragging rights of having visited the two UNESCO World Heritage Sites in Ilocos Norte and Sur, and the other two in Miag-ao and Intratmuros too!

On the first three days of a Holy Week, the demolition men descended upon Bakal 2 to pull out rusty nails from an old wooden roof truss where the minutes of the meetings with Islamabad and Jakarta along with the survey responses to Melbourne were crucified as captions to a couple of quickie rides and a birthday invitation in Bakal 2.

On Maundy Thursday, we crossed the Dalton and Diadi moutain passes to shoot St. Vincent Ferrer's church in Dupax del Sur and the church of St. Matthias in Tumauini, and eat Cabagan's famous pansit and an accidental pansit batil patong in Tuguegarao that would have been perfect pairings with Aritao's sauteed red ant eggs. 

In between betrayal and crucificion, bikers converge in Dupax del Sur while most of the resturants in Tuguegararo closed to attend an Ilocano mass at St. Peter's Cathderal.  

On Good Friday, we detoured to the Basilica of Our Lady of Piat for a forbidden breakfast of pork igado with more bikers before launching a raid to St. Raymond of Penafort's church in Malaueg (aka Rizal).

We crossed the mountains of Apayao from Conner as death blanketed Golgotha, parked at the Patapat Viaduct in Pagudpud, and dueled with the windmills of Bangui before a pit stop in Paoay for a linner of insarabasab, pinakbet, and sinigang na bagnet to finally usher us to a welcome bowl of reheated miki Iloco in Vigan.

On Black Saturday, we fell in line for a breakfast of sinanglao before exploring Vigan and Calle Crosologo by foot and calesa on the way to St. Catherine of Alexandria's church in Luna.

That's how we avoided the mourning traffic at Sta. Maria and had a late lunch of inihaw na tuna, sinigang na seafood, adobong pusit, sinuglaw, and dinengdeng by the seaside in San Fernando. 

On Easter Sunday, I took a center seat for an early morning ride to PR 736 and an omelet dinner in Bangkok as memories of the extremely helpful diversion roads in Isabela and Ilocos Norte, the literal street dogs of Cagayan, the lonely winding highway of Apayao, a sexy tattoed lady walking her dog in Ilocos Sur, Bulan's pout for not being able to drive in La Union, and the choir singing during the renovation of Vigan's St. Paul Cathedral slowly faded into a resurrection of empanada, royal bibingka, bagnet, and longganisa...

SIQUIJOR

Once upon a time, an army of fireflies protected the Kingdom of Katugasan from intruders.

The fireflies were conjured from the depths of the sea by Lucia, the most powerful of the mambabarangs and spiritual adviser to Datu Kihod.

Thus was how it became known as Isla del Fuego.

In 1783, the Augustinian Recollects came back and laid claim to the island by building the Church of St. Francis of Assisi from 1795 until 1831.

Lucia is long gone, presumably beaten to death by her own grandchild, but the church remained standing to greet me as I finally set foot in Siquijor.

The missionaries could have landed at Paliton Beach in a white boat and welcomed with a heart-shaped arch.

I did but through an ancient multicab with a defective battery and was welcomed with a snack of vinegar-laced fresh sea urchin.  

Lucia could be all of the tiny fishes at the spring that flows from the roots of a 400-year old enchanted balete tree so out of respect, I did not dip for a foot spa and offered an offering of special balbacua instead. 

In appreciation, her spirit ignited the dead battery of our rickety multicab. 

I came mainly for the San Isidro Labrador Church (circa 1884) and Convent (circa 1887-1891) that have been both declared as National Cultural Treasures and nominated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

There, Lucia greeted me as the pink lady walking through the church aisle who I later saw gazing from the window of the convent. 

Lucia was the young lady with a floral top taking a photo at Level 3 of the Cambugahay Falls, the woman in all white (cap, shirt, cut off jeans) crossing from Level 2, and the girlfriend in a modest black two-piece bathing suit who was checking her phone in Level 3.

I can feel her pushing me as I made my way up the steep 135 steps where my driver/guide, under her spell, waited to take me to a lunch of kilawen at tolang malasugue that she caught herself for Jacs Kitchenette.

11.3 kilometers away is the Church of Our Lady of Divine Providence that was built in mid-1800s and it is there that I understood her presence and intention.

She is the Black Maria and she wanted me to bring home Lilibeth's pan de bisaya and to pay homage to the spirits of the Cang-Isok House, the oldest surviving house in Siquijor currently under renovation, that was built on the same years as the church where she is now enshrined.

I was supposed to have lunch at the Larena Triad Coffee Shop but my driver/guide told me the price is treefold there and took me somewhere else cheaper and better.

Still, we were led there while looking for the site of Siquijor Masonic Lodge No. 418, the islands of Bohol and Cebu visible from its view deck, and it was there where Gmail informed me of my flight being rescheduled from May 1 to May 5.

Lucia has left us but I was finally able to buy a pack of Marlboro lights.

I betted on the lotto in Siquijor and with her blessing, I might finally be able to win the grand prize and buy myself a plane.  

ANG MGA SIGA NG TAAL

Wala naman talagang nakakatindig balahibong maiaalok ang Tagaytay.

Maliban siguro sa dito mapipintahang mabuti ang Taal Lake, at ang sangkatutak na mga restoran na nag-aalok ng iba't-ibang lasa at karanasan katulad ng Mekong Cuisine Restaurant.  

Kung pagkain ang pagbabatayan, madaming siga sa Tagaytay katulad ng Sonya's Garden, Antonio's, at Josephine's.

Pero kung lumang simbahan ang pag-uusapan, suyot ang Tagaytay sa ga-Europang Basilica de San Martin de Tours ng maliit ngunit astig na bayan ng Taal, pinakamalaking simbahang kolonyal ng Pilipinas, at maaaring gan'un din sa buong Asya.

At 'yan ay patikim pa lamang dahil pagbaba mula sa Basilika, paglampas ng Escuela Pia sa may Calle Gliceria Marella, ay isang hilera ng mga antigong bahay na naghahamon ng mano-mano sa mga katulad na bahay ng Calle Crisologo sa Vigan.

Astig ang Casa Villavicencio at ang kuwento ng may-ari nitong si Aling Eriang, tinaguriang "Lola [at Tagatustos] ng Rebolusyon", ang katabi nitong Casa Regalo de Boda na inihandog [bilang dote o bigay-kaya?] sa kanyang kasal, na isinaayos ni Martin Tinio, Jr. mula sa lahing tiga Nueva Ecija, ang kapitbahay nilang Casa Goco na nagluwal ng isang embahador, at ang pulang bahay ng mga Apacible sa may Palico-Balayan-Batangas Road na pagmamay-ari ng nakakatandang kapatid ni Kuya Canoy, ang unang pangulo ng La Solidaridad, pundador ng Nationalista Party, at unang kalihim ng ngayo'y Department of Agriculture.   

Sa bandang ibaba ng mga Apacible ay kung saan nanirahan ang pamosong si Marcela Agoncillo na siyang tumahi sa kaunaunahang opisyal na bandila ng Pilipinas, kabiyak ng kaunaunahang diplomat ng bansa, at ina ng limang anak na pawang tumandang mga dalaga.

Sa bandang ibaba pa ng bahay ng mga Agoncillo sa may Calle Vicente Noble ay ang dambana ng maliit ngunit tanyag na Nuestra Senora de Caysasay na inumpisahang itayo noong 1639 sa lugar kung saan siya nabingwit.

Lahat ng iyan sa kalsada ng mga siga ng Taal, mula sa dambana ng aleng nabingwit hanggang sa marilag na basilika sa ibabaw ng burol...

...at ang Batangas Lomi na natalisod habang naghahanap sa mga tindahan ng empanada, tapa, at longganisa... 

...at ang huling kuwadro ng makisig na maninimbahan bago siya pinatiklop ng isang matinding bigwas mula sa namamagang apdo.

ISLA

May iisang meron kina Lolo Kadyo, Father Mike, Mang Aldo, Hepe, at Sonny.

Lahat sila ay nagnasa kay Isla, kasama ang mga kabataang nakadungaw sa bintana at mga may edad na nakaupo sa sala, mga nakikipanood ng betamax kina Patok, naghihintay na bumakat sa tubig ang puting duster ni Maria Isabel Lopez, umaasam na hubarin na sana niya ito. 

Nagnasa din ako kay Isla, ng Bantayan, sa hilaga ng mas malaking isla ng Cebu, at sa pinakamatandang parokya nito sa kabuuan ng Visayas at Mindanao, na nangangahulugang may matandang simbahan d'un.

Katulad ng mga bata at matatandang nanood ng betamax ay nairaos ko ang pagnanasa, sa pamamagitan ng habal-habal, sa arkilang P250, sa pagputok ng unang araw ko sa Isla. 

Pangatlo o pang-apat ang kasalukuyang simbahan na itinayo noong 1839 sa matandang bayan ng Bantayan na naging ganap na parokya noon pang 1580, mas antigo sa kalapit na bahay kastila na isa nang pakulutan at tindahan ng Air21, na malapit sa luma pero mas bagong bahay na sumuko sa bangis ni Yolanda.   

HABAL-HABAL DRIVER: "Ser, may isa pang simbahan sa Sta. Fe. Gusto ninyong puntahan?

AKO: "Luma din ba katulad ng sa Bantayan?"

HABAL-HABAL DRIVER: "Napalitan na ng bago ser, pero kakaiba siya dahil may katapat na simbahan din."

Dumaan nga kami d'un, at kinunan ko ang kasalukuyan pang inaayos na simbahang Katoliko, mula sa bakuran ng katapat nitong simbahang Aglipay, bago ako pumara sa tabing-dagat, at nasaksihan ang pagdapurak ng komersiyo sa paraiso na sana.

Maliban sa pier ay walang dungis ang dalampasigan ng Isla.

Maputi at pino ang buhangin.

Hindi kasing dami ang tao katulad ng sa Boracay. 

At masarap ang inilaang pansit sa aming pagpupulong. 

Ebak ang isa sa mga problema sa Isla, dahil nga siguro sa napapaligiran ng tubig ay hindi na kailangan ng kubeta.

Yellow submarine, flying saucer, booby trap. Iba't-ibang klase ng pag-ebak na walang kubeta.

Bumaha nga daw ng ebak n'ung dumating si Yolanda, kaya kubeta ang naging proyekto ng aming opisina sa Isla, kasama na ang panawagang maghugas ng kamay pagkatapos umebak, at pagsasaayos na din sa mga mapagkukunan ng inuming tubig. 

Binalikan ko ang lumang simbahan ng Bantayan sa huling araw namin sa Isla.

Pagkatapos ay namili kami ng mga daing na iuuwi.

Sana.

Dahil dumating si Hanna dala ang Habagat.

Bawal lumayag ang mga barko papunta sa Isla, kaya bawal munang umalis sa Isla...

GOING U.G.

Its been 10 years since I last set foot in Palawan for a 1-week training project with our El Nido Field Office. I thought that was it so I made sure I left my imprints in the limestone cliffs that made us gape and that trek to the Bulalakaw Falls which tore-off my ethnic pants and the traces of early civilization at the Ille Cave and the boat tours around Bacuit Bay and to the Snake Island, Cadlao, Miniloc, and Matinloc.

Its been 10 yeas but the slimy texture of tamilok is still fresh in my mouth while the welcome sight and aroma of huge steamed tahong, grilled baracuda, adobong pusit, and lechon freshly roasted and stuffed with tamarind leaves at the buffet table of the Elm Street Restaurant still cling to my skin.

It's been 10 years. Then I was back. Courtesy of a reference from Oxfam-GB. To the Philippine Board Members League of the Philippines.

Never mind that I was billeted in a hotel so controversial that Mayor Edward Hagedorn won't set foot in it. Never mind the rain that wanted to spoil my fun.

And so I went UG. It cost me P1,500.00 and almost 4 hours of travel to and from Sabang plus another couple of hours to get to a boat and 2 more to get our group number called so we can actually go UG. I have to miss my lunch. But I did smell the bat shit, saw Sharon Stone's ass, and had a 45-minute laugh at the ridiculously funny tales of our boatman guide. 

A 4 pm lunch afterwards have never been so good as roasted tuna and pork, native chicken and kangkong adobo, and binakol never got the chance to be served at the table...  

FOOTNOTE: The Puerto Prinsesa Subterranean River National Park is said to be the second longest underground river in the world and is considered as one of Asia's most important forest site with its full mountain-to-the-sea ecosystem. It was listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site and is currently a finalist to be one of the New 7 Wonders of Nature. There are 4 UNESCO World Heritage Sites in the Philippines: the colonial city of Vigan, the rice terraces of Ifugao (i.e. Nagacadan, Huangduan, Batad, Mayoyao), 4 baroque churches (i.e. San Agustin, Paoay, Sta. Maria, Miag-ao), and the Tubbataha Reef. I've been to all except the last.