THE CITADIN IS A CICERONE

Citadine is a French feminine word for citadin that roughly translates as "townsman" or "city dweller" in general, while a cicerone was once some kind of a tour guide, an Italian word that now refers to someone who "evaluate and select beers to  pair with food or recommend to customers".

I was both for 6 days at Room 1021 of the Citadines Bay City where I exrocised ammonia from the fly area to the crotch point with drops of shampoo for holy water and a hairdryer for a crucifix, the consequence of a supersaving bamboo paper towel's failure to absorb beer-induced urinary incontinence. 

Monsieur Citadin went to a bilateral meeting, intervened in behalf of taxonomy and APAEC 3, and was indifferent on tansition mineral mining.

Afterwards, Signore Cicerone led a lightning tour to Luneta, Binondo, and Escolta where Pinatubo IPA is brewed in Zambales  according to the German Purity Law unlike Engkanto's automated Green Lava Double IPA from Cavite and Crazy Carabao's IPA in Laguna that are nouveau indeed but easily toppled by a parade of San Miguel's canned high-alcohol, pale golden, and light lagers.

Surprisingly, Basque burnt cheesecake turned out to be an excellent pairing to all.

M. Citadin orated on how gender can be transformed, fired emails while consumers were being empowered, and walked around transition impacts on livelihood.

By 6 pm, Sig. Cicerone called on the Ilustrado's captain  to serve chilled bottles of Cerveza Negra dark lager, San Miguel Super Dry light amber lager, and San Miguel Premium all-malt to pair with the paella and rellenong bangus.  

Typhoon Kristine blanketed Manila in an Orange Alert as M. Citadin tapped through a midterm review and operational updates, docusigned and submitted a W-8BEWN during a digital hackaton, and put on a mask for the virtual discussion on the India situation.

Kuanzhai Alley's Laoshan and Snow Beer lagers are terribly flat and served with ice, the shame of Qingdao and Shenyang respectively, but Sig. Cicerone saved the chug with an excellent pairing of Sichuan braised soon hock fish with sour and spicy sauce.

M. Citadin's two Rivotril nights are not the reason for two late breakfasts but the bilaterals before the closing speeches. 

Sig. Cicerone then took it from there through a single speed bamboo bike race in Intramuros with stages at the Japanese naval gun near Baluarte de San Diego, the sealed Puerta Real, the founding fathers of the ASEAN at Revellin de Parian, King Philip II's sad statue at Plaza de Espana, the sorbeteros at Manila Cathedral, the haunted dungeons of Fort Santiago, and an epilogue at San Agustin Church. 

The tunay na beer at Gerry's Grill is properly chilled and came in buckets, the perfect pairing for an all-Filipino dinner of lumpiang shanghai, sizzling sisig, bangus ala pobre, crispy pork kare-kare, and sinigang na pampano.

There will always be restaurant hostesses dressed in an ao dai-style skirt and waitresses with dental brace who will always return excess payment but the lingering image is the silohuette of a slinky black thong...  

DISPATCHES FROM CALAMBA & MANILA

LAST WEEK'S HEADLINES

CN for "decolonial" seed fund submitted. ASEAN blogs on its care declaration decision. MT back as A&C chair. Khmer holiday for a send off party. PH OPA moved forward. Myanmar is 2025 ACW chair. Australia pushed on impact communications. ACE convenes post-AEBF reflection session. 

SIDEBAR FROM A HEADHUNT

It was a weird ritual and Mr. D got perplexed for missing the last round.

But the headhunted was already headhunted so he doesn't care.

Just a matter-of-factly moment for curiosity's sake rather than a necessity.

More pay and a higher position not aspired so not an ounce of pressure at all.

A haircut for a sincere headhunt in lieu of  St. john the Evangelist is what mattered.

So fuck the Foundation, hello to the Network, and I'll be staying with the Confederation!  

DATELINE CALAMBA --- The boy who died and his dog were frozen in bronze from point-to-point of the Bahay Kasttila's fading green paint.

He was affluent enough to be baptized in the stone church next door where workmen enjoyed mid-day naps with the vendors and tricycle barkers.

Did he have udon, karage, gyoza and onigiri  for lunch in Yokohama like Pugad baboy did at Murugame in Glorietta 4, or maybe the Sichuan hot pot they slurped at The Podium? 

His was a dramatic death that got him buried with the GomBurZa and the zombies of Manila's Spanish elite at the Cementerio General de Dilao.

He was shot at Bagumbayan for writing two novels, one of which exposed Padre Damaso as the biological father of a demure Maria Clara; confirmed dead at San Juan de Dios Hospital, buried and later exhumed at Paco Cemetery, urned and kept in Binondo, and finally reinterred in a plot where a national monument was erected by the Americans who were eager to portray a reformist as a national hero. 

BREAKING NEWS

Montezuma's revenge squirted into almost a week of trots from Purok Cablawan in Munoz to Burgos Street in Cabanatuan. 

After inhaling the fumes of burning tires, the Phantom Biker hallucinated of plowing the ricefields of Lomboy with San Isidro Labrador and the angels, of St. Dominic conjuring a vision of Our Mother of Perpetual Help wearing a huge rosary in Buasao that reflected the Madonna and Child picking folded P900 bills in Calisitan where St. James the Great's headless apparition was elevated as the first among the 12 disciples.

LIFESTYLE SECTION

The chef's apron is a red cap when he whipped up odd pairings with beer and whiskey: reheated balot and raw Spam, fresh sashimi and stale chicharon, pork done 3-ways (giniling, paksiw na pata, dinakdakan).

Diapered dogs and coño chatter crowd the Salcedo Saturday Market where an evening fast was broken with chewy Syrian baclava and a reheated pizza of dubious Italian origin, culinary disappointments that were salvaged by the authenticity of a boxed Pakistani mutton biryani, juicy Texas-style beef brisket, dripping Turkish lamb and beef kebab wraps, and a huge container of sublime taho. 

The Legazpi Sunday Market is more compact but eclectic in terms of culinary merchandise, bursting with a throng of jugs and callipygians that almost distracted the queue for a soft Chinese cuapao and crunchy lumpia, French salmon ceviche and ultra-sweet pecan pie, fried Indian samosa, and a to-go Morrocan shakshouka.

All of that however were eclipsed with just a passing glimpse of what can be a case of micromastia, flat as the central plains of Luzon and yet such a powerful image...   

RIMMING BORDERS

Crispy pata, sweet and sour fish, bulalo, pancit canton, honey fried chicken, and lumpiang shanghai before choking on a halo-halo.

That was the Aristocrat's pre-departure lunch in Malate to conclude two virtual meetings on the road and a quick stop for B who finally realized his Grade 1 wish of visiting Luneta two days after chopping coconut fruits in Laur.

Grilled tilapia and liempo, pancit malabon, sinampalukang manok, two cases of Red Horse extra strong beer and a bottle of Alfonso brandy.

There was no confirmation of a boarding but according to FlightAware, a plane took off early from Manila as EY 423 to Abu Dhabi's AUH and arrived late as EY 81 at Milan MPX.

Grilled esnaymada and hot chocolate at Mary Grace, beef mami and pork chao fan at Chowking . 

Rimming is not Pornhub's legacy but punching through the boundaries of Lupao-Munoz in Mapangpang, Guimba-Munoz in Culong, and Talavera-Sto. Domingo in Bagong Silang.

Spicy dilis and peanuts, dinakdakan and dinuguan for the-dog-who-nicked, inantala and turon on Sunday.

A provocative pregnant storekeeper bended over for a match, used candies for change in lireu of a failed head in Cabanatuan, and might possibly be the new MILF of Bakal 2. 

Adobong mani, steamed oysters, fried red snapper, and baked pork ribs before a deluge that flooded Franza.

The Iron Man paid his quarterlies in Cabanatuan after having the Lao OPB signed-off during the ASEAN Summits in Vientiane that also listed a comms induction from Phnom Penh and a general assembly in Manila as side events in a panel discussion on a decolonial feminist climate justice seed fund despite MT's days off in Louisiana and DM's request for a rescheduling, enough for Mr. D to convey that a second round bounced off the rim, for Ms.  A to receive a ringless consultancy proposal, and for a job decription edited to likely push two more years through the borders.

17-22 was drawn and it was a close shave!

THE LAST DOSE

MJ did not dance on San Geronimo's feast to celebrate the third and last anti-rabies shot.

[Baloc chocked of cheap merchadise as the throng in Munoz sought subsidized relief from cat bites.] 

MT in Mexico City, G-JET signed off for the ASEAN, a September billing acknowledged in Bali.  

[Virtual payments and plastic cards, Balong's first ever shave for the Nonna from Milan.]

TV cruficied with a Lao OPB --- his ticket to Manila where an ASEAN JET flew over Asia Pacific.

[Iron Man is the Water Boy, a Chef who RAN to a first TCF interview before October is advertised.]  

There was devotion in Baloc, breakfast in CLSU, an incursion in Lupao, a bike fix in Guimba. 

[Oplan SCM-CSWDO delivered with a market raid of fried tilapia, red eggs, and classic Chippy .] 

The Lodge was opened on Saturday but will it be Phnom Penh, Singapore or Washinton DC?

[It may be the last shot and the last bottle of the first week but certainly not for post-November 23.]

4 BARONGS AND A BLACK TROUSER IN VIENTIANE

Beneath the office dress and maroon Barong #1 is a black biking chamois.

Thus was how LM's double  showed off in Vientiane on the last day of the antacid and a debrief.

Perhaps Lao Plaza Hotel's wine-beer concoction and a lost phial of Tomilol helped ease a suspected case of indigestion but not the ennui of the 7th ASEAN Inclusive Business Forum and the rains that devoured the spires of Pha That Luang and Patuxai. 

Thus was how the farts disapppeared after blue Barong #2 chased OPlan Guimba to Melbourne and Stockholm where TCF's first interview invitation was stamped in a stew of Lao Beer, eel, carp and beef from the receding floodwaters of the Mekong River.

On Wednesday, green Barong #3 was presented with a silk scarf from the Lao Women's Union along Thadeua Road and cute sweet oranges from the Lao Federation of Tade Unions in Saylom Road.

Thus was how two young interns came up with the idea of pairing heavenly fried pork ribs with Khop Chai Deu's whiskey-beer mix from hell. 

The Ministry of Energy and Mines cancelled in lieu of the National Convention Center's 24th ASEAN Energy Business Forum's humdrum of somniferous speeches that were salvaged by a prominently displayed company logo, my gray Barong #4, and an eerie mash-up of scotch whiskey, French liquer and Chilean red wine from the Houseplant somewhere near Rue Dongpayna.

Thus was how the farts burried in Seat 43Jof TG 571 were resurrected in TG 574, maybe because LM's doppelganger spurned a monologue somewhere in the Downtown Vientiane area that might have triggered a gastrocolic reflex due to what can be an irritable bowel syndrome before transiting to PR 737 in Bangkok.

 

I spent 2.30 hours at Wattay International Airport for a 1.20-hour flight to Suvarnabhumi International Airporrt, killed 3.10 hours there before a 3.30-hour flight to the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, and battled Candy Crush for 1.30 hours at a bus station before the final 4.30-hour bus ride to a Sunday mass in CLSU.

Total number of hours for the return trip: 16.30 hours.

Total number of Barongs wore: 4.

Tottal number of black trouser paired with the Barongs: 1.

I like Vientiane  but getting in and out is taking so much time!

BALOC RIDES: Prelude to Vientiane

San Geronimo of Baloc who healed the sick and called for the rains through Juana is also St. Jerome of Striddon who rewrote the Old Testament from Hebrew to Latin and is the patron saint of translators. 

Our San Geronimo is an accessory to the conception of Kuya Bulan, one of our ipso facto lines to heaven that is dialed through lighted colored candels at the Aglipayan Cathdedral and Roman Catholic Sanctuary.

There, I sent off my wife as she reported back to work with the prayer that we may live long and prosper like the very satisfactory results of our recent quarterly and hopefully, the Timolol Maleate will work fine too as well as a second dose of anti-rabies vaccine in Munoz.  

OPlan SCM-CSWDO is on target but Ate Chona did not respond to OPlan Guimba while Oplan SJC-PCSO remains uncertain that is why we reinvested P77,357.50 at MHCC  

The I-JET/FFA/A&C Trilogy was on full show for a GCash and a check deposit, intense but sedate like a root beer and a fake non-alocoholic beer in Bakal 2, and a Japanese mocktale from Ortigas. 

Friday's bike ride was rained out so I was once again Master Chef and Iron Man, a disciple of the Craft and the abandoned parish church of San Geronimo, and the author of a Sunday epistle to RAN.

I was dry for almost a week and smokeless for almost a day in Bakal 2, Manila and Bangkok. 

That was until arriving in Vientiane on Sunday night...

MORNINGS IN SAN JOSE

OPlan SSS and OPlan GSIS are turning out to be almost missions impossible.

But both are babies compared to the duplicity of Medilink XP's "contestability" clause that denied coverage for our quarterly blood works.  

These I chased in San Jose City where erasures were rectified to save OPlan GSIS for the sake of the First Congress while restoring our archaic printer with an  Epson L5290, full black like the white lady of Waltermart, before having our blood drawn with such high precision that I almost forgave Medilink.

It could have been 6 morning forays into San Jose City with two breakfasts at McDonald's because the rice at Marquez-Palengke was still steaming, if not for a random pick up in Cabanatuan City by the rice merchant of Bakal 3 that secured an  almost lost Optical Coherence Tomography result. 

The RAN consultancy offer was $500 short of my current monthly take, enough to bleed gums and blow a job, like maybe delivering an intervention in a virtual meeting in Kuala Lumpur where the upcoming Vientiane events were considered to be reported in a multi-District convention in Angeles City. 

It was the al dente pancit canton noodles that saved the Talavera dancing fountains whose waters smelled like the reheated soup of Tuesday's leftover sinigang na baboy and the clear patis of Wednesday's nuked sinaing na tulingan.

TCF was serious though and will send an invitation for the first round of  interviews but the Aussie's program management is in need of an overhaul. 

We got a cake from Cindy's and an enevelope of 5 crisp P1,000 bills .  

The bank opened on Saturday to receive these and some GCash too but not for a P12,000 check from an erstwhile friend who, like the dogs of Kabilang Baryo who mistook my shin for a kalderatang bibe.  

Thus was how two shots of rabies vaccine got me in Cabanatuan City so I prayed to St. Nicholas of Tolentine to deliver us from purgatory and offerred flowers from 5 biking days in between the errands to San Jose, to him and the new church in CLSU, before a dinner with the flying bugs of Bical...