THE PHNOM PENH DELEGATION

Community, equality, inclusion.

Thus is the culmination of a reluctant trip to Phnom Penh within a 7-day spread that started as a pop-in to those who cease to sleep in the Science City of Munoz, they who spoke about the day of the moon through three consecutive conclaves.

On Day 1 of the Phnom Penh Workshop, such context was confirmed by the Garbage Man from a reunion in San Miguel, the last pilates session deferred as PR 2621 took off from an avalanche of Chilean red wine and Filipino beer.

Gems of wisdom and magic recapitulated Day 2 of the Phnom Penh Workshop --- rainbows of colorful fruits and rice pastries reflecting in the afternoon sky, domed to protect a Khmer beef steak and cold Angkor beer from the deathly embrace of summer.

The donor is a warm morning whose innocence elevated a consultant procurement into contract signing through a catch-up Georgian lunch that turned out to be thunderously heavy platters of khinkali and khachapuri, and loud as the traffic of  craft beer pints near Bassac Lane.

Love and marriage? 

The Bali Workshop intervened but a lovely Pakistani lunch of mutton biryani, nan bread, an array of bowled curry, and a tall mango lassi was wedded with a sky bar dinner of Khmer beef steaks, fried rice and corn, vegetables, and fish before vociferous Chinese pasengers were herded to Shanghai by PR 2622. 

The streets of Phnom Penh smelled of burning meat and docusigned requests that were guaranteed by The Divine Madman whose phallic amulet repelled demons, malicious gossip, and the evil eye that hounded the nubile clientele of the Salcedo Saturday Market.

In Bakal 2, the delegation concluded with the liberation of time by the Son of God, by hikers under the patronage of San Sebastian, and a cache of cold beer a day before fleeing to  Osaka...   

BREAKFASTS AT DUSIT THANI (The ASEAN Gender Week)

After the minster was cleared of foreign exchange traders, the laicized cleric instructed from the mountain in the Town in Heaven that "GEDSI must be embedded in energy project design and delivery to drive gender equality and inclusion in energy employment, and build capacity on socially inclusive and gender-responsive energy transition" --- words so esoteric that the spy, instead of gathering intelligence for the Phnom Penh Workshop, opted to usher a welcome dinner at The Pantry, consecutive breakfast buffets so tedious that Lawson's was obliged to host the Last Supper. 

The Secretariat proposed during a huddle that Dusit Thani's breakfast buffet be reimagined as Aling Sosing's freshly grilled pork liempo that can be chopped into an Amorsolo sisig after the morning shift, that its noodle station be exclusive for displaying Japan Town's ramen selection.  

In Little Tokyo, the geishas of Ramen Nagi and Misaki seduced the Phantom Biker with an overpriced sashimi breakfast platter and ramen bowl that hinted of cold sake and two mugs of Suntory highball instead of The Pantry's nubile roving barista, all that for a hefty P4,18 price tag that coud have covered a seat at Michelin-selected Umu.  

Breakfasts at 5-starred Dusit Thani are overrated.

Indeed, the bachelors of Bakal 2 and their dogs preferred slurping balut and penoy higop with inutak at San Roque's church in Pateros to start the day, or a double plate brunch of Nanay's Pancit Malabon with the traders and merchants gathered at San Bartolome's massive church, or even grill an imaginary gilik-flavored bangus for the devotees of San Jose de Navotas' universal church.

Breakfasts can be Maundy like a birthday present of tokwa't baboy and litsong manok wrapped in the Bali Procurement --- 17 years in the Craft celebrated with a Black lager and merlot --- or even an Easter kosher dinner for a vigil to keep an 83-years old soul from wandering and guide him into the spirit world...

THE KUALA LUMPUR FORUM (1 month to Japan)

There were three gentlemen from the Philippines and one each from Timor Leste, Bangladesh, and Pakistan.

Four of them made it to the hotel lobby photo and perhaps, one of them will be invited to pay homage to Santa Marta, sister of Mary and patron saint of housewives and restaurant workers, the portkey to an audience with the ghost of Simon Bolivar somewhere at the Quinta de San Pedro Alejandrino where the Magdalena River passes through before diving into the Carribean Sea for a long swim across the Atlantic Ocean to deliver a communique to the guardians of the Anatalya coast along the Mediterranean Sea. 

That disptach was conjured from the mist of a muddy confluence of two rivers that created the Federal Territory of Kuala Lumpur and inspired the transformation of Petaling Jaya from a 486-hectare rubber estate into a satellite town. 

A day before, the Kuala Lumpur Forum received a doctor's prescription for a confirmed hotel booking and a rush travel insurance procurement, an inbox purge and quarterly timesheets at the transit hotel, and a $100 ransom for a passport that almost got left behind. 

It was also decided during a hotel restaurant huddle that the two meetings bumped off by PR 525 be compensated with a plastic bag of mutton rendang and egg panotta for lunch, and a dinner of overladed Kambing Bhukara Briyani.

Thus was how the declaration for Santa Marta and Anatalya evolved: 

• a report submission before the ambassador checked in
• a campaigner's overview of the Belem outcomes and how the adaptation of just transition might get lost, damaged, and possibly compensated with climate finance 
• unlocking the airline gates to Colombia in a month's time and Turkiye in 8 months with an incantation from a shared agenda for the content gathering interviews

The welcome dinner was sober and dominated by a conversation about ASEAN member state beers, an abstinence whose dullness was punctuated with a cleavage spied around Independence Square, the abundance of subtle hustles at the River of Life, the erect phallic symbols of Kuala Lumpur, and a nuked beef rendang dinner at the Central Market.

It was also announced at the ensuing press conference that the Phnom Penh Workshop as well as the Bali Assembly are now in the advance stages of procurement despite a slight delay in Manila, to ensure that CSO key moments are as harmonious as the flavors of sup kambing and buttered chicken with naan bread.

In Poblacion, Supergirl and Wonderwoman dressed an old-time burger and vanilla milkshake with two cups of red wine from PR 526, bloody enough for the Blues Brothers to croon how an extra service under the red lights of Padre Burgos was politely declined, skewered into crimson pork barbecue, and marinated in 2 bottles of Red Horse Stallion. 

The morning after, the Phantom Biker crashed a car-free Sunday in Ayala Avenue to chase after bikes of various makes and collect sweat from nubile runners of diverse sizes to season an adobong baboy breakfast at the Legazpi Sunday Market.

The Holy Week went live and palm branches go on sale after the Sunday mass at San Pedro de Macati.

Pugad Baboy delivered fresh clothes but missed Marilyn Monroe at the Filling Station during a lunch of half-burgers, pizza, and root beer floats. 

Catholics officially embarked on a visual fast as the saints of Guadalupe Church were covered with the color of penance that foretold of a death in San Jose City... 

THE MEANING OF M

M ain't the Chief of M16's Secret Intelligence Service but a reluctant caregiver somewhere in London.

M stands for Maligaya where 50 (or Roman numeral L) birth years were celebrated with a thousand shots of Scotch whiskey and American bourbon.

M was the meeting in Hogwarts where lobbyists were rewarded with bags of eggs, and the men in aprons who converged in Baloc on the 8th of March. 

M is the enigmatic Specialist of terse one-liners that almost compromised the Kuala Lumpur Forum, an escalation required to finally link a project ID to a grant number.

M is the impact story that will be narrated in Manila, the main agenda of a biweekly task force huddle, and the other matters discussed in the other meetings.    

M are the morning rides that punched through pay windows for a second booster shot before the Bali Assembly was registered for the ASEAN Gender Week.   

M can be the litsong manok, a musky pinangat na hito, or a tray of itlog maalat that compensated The Ironman of Bakal 2 for his services.

M is mass at the historic Barasoain Church and a GRO named Margareth who was treated to her first ever birthday cake during the homily.   

M is a moustached Plaridel enshrined and celebrated in Bulakan, and a Requiem Mass for a misogynist congressman at the National Shrine of the Divine Mercy in Marilao.

Finally, M stands for the Michellin Bib Gourmand emblem that adorned Chie-Chie's Batil Patung like tubs of lechon karahay, chibul, and dinakdakan floating in a sea of egg drop soup.  

THE MANILA VISITS AND MEETINGS

For a minute, the chlorine-laced pool froze into a powerpoint presentation as the 8th ASEAN Working Group squinted into the morning sun to etch their commitment on integrating GEDSI into national energy plans, promoting climate justice and mobilizing climate finance, ensuring rights in a digital age, translating the care declaration into action, and addressing the “Missing Middle” of social protection.

Ushering this annual ritual is a platter of multi-colored sapinsapin, sliced and served with an interim midyear report submission from an overcrowded table, a 6-minute walk to a red bento-box of belabored pansit and siopao meal that the week's frst Rizotril dose transformed into elevated karekare, kaldereta, and adobo to send off an old Sandugo flipflop and a buttonless cargo pants into retirement.  

Then came the inihaw na pusit, the grilled tuna belly, roasted liempo, and sizzling bulalo that stirred anticipatory action for the promotion of digital rights in the ASEAN as prophecied during dinner at the Ambassador's Reception in Magallanes Village.

Old Rockport was finally retired, reluctantly, as the Andrologist unlocked the Sleep Disorders Center, finally.

A second Bib Gormand was harvested at Morning Sun before a quickie at the ADB.

Two bottles of pinot noir, a flask of sake, and two glasses of gin tonic lubricated the egress of two visits and a meeting in Manila.

It was a stocktake from there: 

• Session 1 determined project progress under the watchful gaze of the Quezon Memorial Shrine's three mourning angels
• Session 2 looked into spending and burn rates as The Oblation looked 
• Session 3 distilled reflections over lunch at a cocktail table of the Salcedo Saturday Market
• Session 4 evolved action points during the changing of the guards at the Rizal Monument in Luneta

It is finished!

A 2026 ASEAN engagement plan was compiled to retire a fake Stan Smith after one final errand of picking up a prescribed PDE5 inhibitor during St. Paul the Apostle's morning sermon about the church's Millenial Saint.

In Quiapo, the exposed faithful prayed to the Black Nazarene for miracles while at the Golden Mosque, women must be covered with hijab and the skin peeled off the grilled fish. 

A lotto bet was placed somewhere along Calle Sacrista as mass was celebrated in both ends of the street --- at Sta. Cruz and Binondo that once ministered to the gentiles of Parian. 

Soft rain punctured two cups of overrated coffee as marathon weddings occupied the San Agustin Church and pushed back tourists to an ancient restaurant for an early lunch of kangkong with garlic and seafood canton (halal), and classic asado and lumpiang shanghai (haram).  

It's TRYP not Microtel but the heavy yellow luggage is ours...