THE SONGS OF LEONARD COHEN

Act Naturally and Dance Me to the End of Love until winter curdle the milk in Leah and Charlie's sagging breasts. 

You Want It Darker or keep the colors of of a cold beer in Dr. Amit's freakish Mango Dreams?

It was Mary Queen of Scotts whom the Virgin Queen pickled on gin and rum in the Tower of Song. 

And Dorothy was hostaged by the Space Sweepers for a Famous Blue Raincoat and a whiskey highball.

So Take This Waltz for Suter and race with the Phantom Biker in five days of the The English Game.

Find Hanna, The Gypsy Wife of The Meadows who choked on chicken sisig, longganisang igat and adobong pusit.

The Phantom Biker's name is Hallelujah and February was Below Zero when Martin caught up with him.

SUPER TUESDAY UNVEILED

The virus descended upon the maiden meeting of the Tuesday Club disguised as a slice of fried Spam and the wing from a roasted chicken, a brew of Cuba Libre failing to inoculate the Phantom Biker from the infection as his genes mutated into five horcruxes, the first as the Giant mountain bike that took the Cycling Nomads from the Black Sea to Uchitel Peak, across the Pamir Mountains and finally to Murghab River near the Afghan border. 

Fabian Cancellara won the 97th Tour of Monumental Flanders from Bruges to Oudenaarde with a Trek Domane which is the second horcrux while the third is an Epoca road bike that carried the RAAM Roses from the California west coast to Maryland's east coast in a Race Across America. 

The fourth and fifth horcruxes are under the safekeeping of the Orica-Scott Team of the 2017 Tour de France --- Hanna Grant who nourished the team with roasted whole lamb, beef barbecue and tuna sashimi smothered in an absinthe-infused cheese sauce; and the Scott Foil RC road bike that delivered the White Jersey to Simon Yates.

Eat.Race.Win. Indeed but for the Tuesday Club, it's meet, drink and be merry in the time of the pandemic.  

In Suffolk, Basil Brown went on supervising The Dig to unearth more horcruxes from Peggy Piggot's  neglected fanny but ended up excavating The Little Switzerland from Yolanda's wet Basque twat while Hana put on a Hawaiian finger painting show to divert the Nightmarchers from Finding 'Ohana and Oahu's treasure trove.      

The Phantom Biker finally arrived in Kinsasha from the bike trails of Nueva Ecija and was feted by Carlos and the Zande people with a picnic of adobong dilaw, sinaing na tulingan and lauya at the Black Beach where The Widow of Kisima presented Georgia Wells of Rotterdam as the frigid horcrux from Ruhengeri.

But the itch of widow Portia eclipsed the wings of Vignette and while Imogen's shuddering thighs wrapped itself around a half-human stud, it was Sophie and Jonah's carriage trysts that stole the show at Carnival Row in the same manner that the Phantom Biker would have taken the Grecian princess of The Burgue.

And that is on top of the last horcrux --- a black Giant Revel with blue trimmings on a Tuesday afternoon. 

THE FELLOWSHIP OF AH26

As the dark clouds of evil deeds threathened to devour the harmony of King Solomon's Temple in Baloc, Jonah Heidelbaum and So Mun rendezvoused with the Hunters at the Master's residence in Bakal 2 for a dinner of beer, pansit bihon and fried chicken wings.

At the same time, the Yung descended in Pantok where Meyer Offerman and Choo Mae-ok met with The Uncanny Counter to divine the face of evil which The Mistahs revealed to be Ji Chung-sin in a bowl of spaghetti while that of The Colonel rippled in a jug of Cuba Libre.

But it was Sister Harriet and Do Ha-na who seduced the Thursday Club with extra strong beer and dinakdakan to betray the weakness of the devil who on Saturday was exorcised with an offering of Johnny Walker Black, adobong kambing, kalderetang baka, pritong galunggong, karekare and ensaladang talong.     

So it was that Shing Mung-hwi was vaporized in New York City by Ga Mo-tak, Adolf Hitler was castrated by Joe Mizushima in Jungjin, and the Tuesday Club celebrated in a place of joy with light brandy and chicken sisig.  

It was 5 days of Black Earth Rising with all detours leading the Phantom Biker to London for Kate Ashby's Tour of Britain and a preview of the Tour de France in Paris with Michael Ennis as Alice Munezero of the Rwandan Patriotic Front battled with the demons of the genocide.