LOST AND FED IN THEWET

It was the taxi driver who first realized he was lost and U-turned in front of Lost Inn BKK, turned right to Krung Kasem Road before another right into narrow Soi Thewet 1, asked for directions from a family who was closing shop before finally parking his cab in a one-way street and walking me through a narrow alley into Phranakorn-Nornlen where for the next 5 days, I sought refuge from the shitty sandwich lunches of the UN Conference Center.

My hotel is actually in the middle of an old residental neighborhood and thankfully does not serve breakfast because the 800 meters from there to the UN is a living museum of authentic Thai cuisine, like Monday's guay jab breakfast bowl (rolled rice noodle soup with delicate tofu, crispy pork belly and offal) and, after losing my way and giving up on Khaosan Road, where I retreated for a dinner of kor moo yang (grilled pork neck), gai yang (grilled chicken) and a cold Chang. 

While Monday was a small family restaurant affair, Tuesday is hardcore street food with another guay jab breakfast bowl, no offals this time, from a husband-and-wife pop up serving a clientele of mostly students from a nearby school, and a dinner of ba mee haeng (dry noodles, crispy and red pork, blanched bokchoy) from a food cart in front of the street corner 7-11 before again attempting Khaosan Road to find that place where the Norarat Sathan Bridge rises to the music of  Adhere 13th Blues Bar and four bottles of Lao beer. 

Thewet was begotten by the historic Thewet Naruemit Bridge, an area that radiates through Krung Samsen Road including the equally historic Khlong Phadung Krung Kasem up to the Witsukam Narueman Bridge near the UN Center where I again wore my vintage negotiating barongs, a stretch that tranforms into a food strip every night where on Wednesday, I had a dinner of pla pao (salt crusted grilled red tilapia) and cold Leo that preceded a chicken rice breakfast on the other side of the road, both sidewalks representing the yin (small family restaurants) and the yang (pop up food stalls) of Thewet's food culture.  

On The Least Expected Day, Superman, Enric and Annemiek had an awkward threesome Inside the Movistar Team while I started rainy Thursday with fried skewered pork that tasted like tocino, a really crispy fried chicken and two packets of sticky rice from two adjacent food carts that has enough calories for a 1.7 kilometer walk to Coco Chao Phraya for a dinner of cannabis-laced hom mok talay, spicy squid and a draft of Federbrau single malt that has enough Tetrahydrocannabinol to turn the Rama VIII Bridge into gold, and enough 11-Hydroxy-THC for a whiskey sour and mojito to rhyme the blues rhyme with the rain.

As Jokoy went Live from the LA Forum on Friday morning, the giant standing Buddha of Wat Indharaviharn blessed me with a piece of moo ping (grilled pork skewer) while I wandered through narrow alleys where pots of rice porridge were boiling, a stray cat leading me to a monk collecting morning alms at the Ruam Yang Market where Patonggo Cafe unexpectedly punched through a store front with a plate of mixed crispy and roasted pork with Chinese sausage and rice thus relegating a planned brunch into a morning snack of french fries, spring rolls, chicken nuggets and cold Thai milk tea for THBKKNB243's homecoming at the Gypsum Metropolitan Tower.

And it can be any of the unmasked patrons of the Miracle Lounge --- the Indian gentleman deciding between a whiskey and gin, a Singaporean couple feasting on grilled chicken and sauteed pork, or a young Asian male with purple hair who sipped wine like it was coffee --- but certainly not from the 6 cans of Schweppes dry ginger ale that was left behind by the Thai Cave Rescue team for a Sunday bike ride in Munoz and the MILF of Bakal 2...