CHRISTMAS IN ULUWATU

Empu Kutruran is a ghost and it was Danghyang Nirarthas who transformed a fossilized ship into what is now the Uluwatu Temple so a crab-eating macaque can steal Kuya Bulan's eyewear on Christmas Day 15 minutes after this photo was taken by Bli Subena who piloted our Christmas car and bought our entrance tickets.

We have been alerted of the monkey thieves by amateur surfers before they were devoured by the waves of Legian Beach, their warnings echoing in the open kitchen of Depot Chandra while Balong happily cried over a Christmas brunch of Denpasar's best but spicy babi guling. 

That same day, Bulan and Balong walked into a crevice that led into a forest of bikini Christmas trees in Padang-Padang Beach where iced coffee is brewed in green Bintang bottles and sold as kopi luwak and 12 shots of hot beverages for Elizabeth Gilbert and the patrons of Lumbung Sari. 

Back at the Uluwatu Temple, Bulan's monocle was recovered through a bounty of crumpled Indonesian rupias, washed at a toilet where the pieces were reassembled, the thieving monkey tried and roasted in a Fire Dance of chanting men and masks as the Timor Sea burned from an invisible sunset. 

There were four plates and four wine glasses at the Christmas seafood dinner in Jimbaran Beach, two contented sons, and Beach Bali Cafe's house wine that somehow blunted the emptiness of the fourth chair and the solitary nights at the master's bedroom of The Legian Sunset Residence in Seminyak...