DISPATCH FROM BANGLI AND SEMINYAK

BANGLI, Bali, IDN --- Feb. 1, 2023

After a 4-hour delay attributed to a "mistake", the three competing teams from Australia, The Netherlands and the Philippines were finally brought together at the Tegalalang Rice Terraces for the much anticipated Bali Countryside Cycling Tour, and offered bowls of black rice pudding as an apology. 

Team Philippines was transported to the rendezvous by a Muslim Grab driver who hated the Chinese but love diamonds and from there, Katok drove them to the starting line in a village temple where the Phantom Biker was presented with the traditional yellow helmet of the race leader to wear in recognition of the mileage he accumulated in 2022 while chasing for The Matrix.

The first stage concluded at the bamboo forest where the Phantom Biker's mate and her escort got lost before the first checkpoint so the bikes were parked on the road shoulder for them to see and get back into the tour.

At the Penglipuran Village, the Phantom Biker was welcomed with a red sarong and The Matrix Reloaded at the gates of heaven while Team Australia was forced to render a traditional Balinese dance and Team Netherlands cajoled into tasting their first durian ever.    

The tour's second stage went into high gear through narrow pathways along deep crevices and ricefields, double braking through fast downhills that were punctuated with two water breaks, several traffic stops and pockets of waving Balinese fans until the unexpected finish line where all were declared winners and feted in Ubud with a late lunch of nasi putih, mie goreng, sate ayam, fried tempe, chicken balls soup and an apology from the tour organizer's wife for dessert. 

In the ensuing press conference at Seminyak Beach, The Phantom Biker revealed that The Matrix Revolutions actually occured at the studios of the Courtyard Bali Seminyak Resort that smelled like sate ayam from the kitchen of Warung Saya which actually is the hocrux of the sate babi for fat, chicken with Balinese sauce for protein, nasi goreng ayam for fuel and three brews of Kura-Kura pale ale that Bintang Elephant Mina Warung prepared for Team Philippines.

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SEMINYAK, Bali, IND --- Jan 31, 2023

There were last minute requests for early check outs, airport transfers, a missed connection and a cancelled flight but the ASEAN Working Group finally convened in-person after two tears of virtual meetings, the embodiment of The Matrix Resurrections from 6 ASEAN member states and 5 regional programs through a workshop galore at the Pool Bar where the Phantom Biker broke three bottles of Singaraja Pilsner. 

Two days before, the Phantom Biker intentionally left his passport at Ngurah Rai International Airport to prove if he is indeed the Top Gun, the Maverick from Bakal 2 who missed four flights and have been stranded once so far.

Two days after, the story of the recovered passport was retold in Munoz to perk up an anemic samgyeopsal at Kakabsat where the Phamtom Biker also announce his intention to reunite with his mistahs at the Lodge in Baloc.  

  

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