DEATH TO 2020!

A coronavirus triumphantly crossing from bats and pangolins to the humans of Wuhan eclipsed the conquest of a Korean "Parasite" of the 92nd Academy Awards and the drama of an acrimonious American election that pitted Dash Bracket against the Karens of the world, 291 days of 2020 lost to the monsters that infested Hyun-soo's Sweet Home in Seoul because Jesus is Dead in Dumaguete as far as Iyay is concerned despite Joseph and Callie's effort to celebrate A California Christmas with wine from the parasite-infested vines of Petaluma, Baaz honoring Naseer and the Black Falcon (Torbaaz) with a human bomb after a cricket game to greet the new year in Kabul because 2020 is dead and the 12 round fruits in Bakal 2 remains in quarantine. 

Joanna Lumley is 74 but still fuckable, wrinkled but smooth like a Silk Road Adventure and the 60-years old single malt in every heavy bottle of Johnny Walker's Blue Label that launched the gondolas of Venice to Durres in Albania for a journey to Istanbul's Galata District through Via Egnatia, the goat adobo and pinangat na hito fermenting nicely during the crossing of Georgia's Caucasus Mountains to Baku in Azerbaijan where the tiim na bibe was reheated for a picnic along the coast of the Caspian Sea, the orgies in the caravanserais relived as Pare Amor led us to Tehran's Golestan Palace then to Kashan to scout for hand made rugs and a reunion with the ghost of Freddie Mercury in Yazd before reaching Shiraz where its extinct wine was substituted with a box of Black Label before crossing the border to Uzbekistan to rendezvoused with the Thursday Club where pre-ordered boiled peanuts and fried chicken wings were picked in Tashkent to reinforce the kalderetang bibe and pinaputok na tilapia in Samarkand as offerings to the great Amir Timur before chasing the Black Death to Issyk Kul in Kyrgyztan where ham, lumpiang shanghai, pork barbecue, Chicken Joy, potato salad and San Miguel Pale Pilsen were bartered for a new year's feast in Tash Rabat.   

Right after Christmas and under the patronage of Kartini, Princess of Java, the Phatom Biker was flown by the mythical Garuda through 16,900 kilometers from Indonesia to Guatemala: Heart of the Mayan World, where he was feted with a meal of pepian, tapado and Zacapa premium rum to fortify the search for bike parts in the ruins of Tikal, Iximche, Quirigua and El Mirador before being teleported by a huge Quetzal 9,837 kilometers to Venice where the 6,395 kilometer Tour of the Silkroad commenced which finished in Tash Rabat and there, a spectral Alpkarakush transported him and his bike to a monthly conclave in Baloc and a feast of ginisang ampalaya at upo, ensaladang talong, adobong daga, dinakdakan and tinumis to greet the Year of the Ox.